Catharsis
by Pandax-Pro
Summary: Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and the X Men must save a little girl from her own powers, while crossing paths with a dangerous rouge mutant who has the ability to turn the X Men's emotions against them and those they hold dear... Please R&R!
1. The Beginning

Hello everyone! I'm Miko! I started this story forever and a year ago, and I really want to finish it... So I went back, rewrote some things, wrote new chapters, the whole nine yards in steps of actually doing so... wow... So if you have already read some of my story (all five of you... ^_^) feel free to read it again... I think it is a lot better then it was before. Thanks for reading!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but this computer... and apparently some real estate in Alaska- that one I'm still trying to figure out...  
  
*******The Beginning*******  
  
A sweet little three-bedroom house. A true home... one with love and care and a nice little backyard... a garden in one corner, a swing set in the other. This was where Callie had lived. She wondered what happened to it. All the bushes had grown out of hand. The sun had dried up everything outside. The porch was filled with wasps and spider webs, and you couldn't see through the screen-glass doors anymore.  
  
Callie saw that the bunny didn't have any food. She had felt so sorry for her rabbit, for not being tall enough to get the feed for it, just last week... but now, she just didn't. If she had stopped to wonder why, maybe she would have been saddened by it. But Callie was only three years old, and the only thing she knew was that her mommy didn't love her anymore.  
  
Well of course Mommy hadn't just come right out and said it, but after Gramma and Poppy's "accident" Mommy had just stopped caring. All of Mommy's pretty flowers had died months ago, but they were still there in the vase. The mildew on the tiles in the kitchen made it smell funny, and the garbage was piling up... Daddy was gone more and more...  
  
Callie wished things could go back to normal, wished she could see her mommy smile. But Mommy didn't have any smiles left for Callie, that was all. Callie could remember crying, every night for weeks that her real mommy would come back... wake up... that her real mommy would smile at her and take her outside into the garden...  
  
Callie looked through the window out into the backyard... "We don't have a garden anymoor," she said to herself.  
  
Callie could remember crying, just like she could remember the garden. But that's all it was now- a memory. Callie didn't care about the backyard anymore, or about Mommy, or about anything. She had tried to explain this to her Daddy once. But he had just said that Callie was angry.  
  
But today Callie really wasn't angry. Callie really wasn't sad. Callie really just didn't care. It was Callie's birthday, but NOBODY seemed to care. So Callie didn't care.  
  
About anything.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	2. Birthday Girl

**********Birthday Girl***********  
  
"Twelve years old. God you're getting' big!" Daddy's voice.  
"You look so nice in that dress Callie. Why don't you go on outside and play? All the neighbors are here for your party." Ok Daddy. "Ok Daddy."  
  
Callie Daansi shifted her pink bow to the back of her hair and shimmied up her fluffy dress to jump off the kitchen chair she had been sitting on. She hardly remembered ever wearing a dress. She hadn't had a birthday party in years.  
  
"I guess today's supposed to be special." She said to herself as she walked out of the kitchen and through the sliding glass doors, into the backyard of the one-story duplex house her family had moved into when she was ten.  
  
Callie looked at all of the children around her. They all lived in her neighborhood, all went to her school. And she knew them all by name, though she had never talked to any of them. Instead of trying to now, she turned to her swing set in its customary place of "in the corner." Down by the slide, right where her parents had left them the night before, were the Barbie dolls they had gotten her. Callie looked down at them. The green outfit on the Malibu Barbie had already begun to tear. But ... Callie didn't care.  
  
"How could you do this? At your own daughter's birthday party! I thought we wanted this day to be special! Get her out of her shell remember!?" Daddy's voice . "All of our neighbor's are out there Maria!"  
  
"Oh for God's sake Peter... shut up or they'll... hear you out there! I'm not... drunk ok? And it's not like they know who YOU are! You're NEVER HOME ANYWAY!" Mommy's voice.  
  
And with that Callie's mommy stormed out the same way her daughter had come. She ambled though the backyard with the occasional gasp from a neighbor.  
"CALLIE! There you are! Come n' play sweetheart... we're all 'ere tonight... isn't that lovely?"  
  
---------  
  
"Yes Mommy." "That a' girl..." Callie's mommy said bending down a bit to eye level with her daughter. She looked down at the untouched Barbie dolls. "You love your mommy... don't you?" She asked with a hurt clarity.  
  
Love?  
  
"Yes I love you Mommy." replied Callie staring forward, pretty certain of what has going to happen next. Knowing... but not caring. "You say that..." Mommy started. "But... how can you say that to me and not mean a SINGLE word of it?" Mommy grabbed Callie by the arm and lifted up forcefully to make Callie look her in the eyes. "How?"  
  
"Maria! Everyone is here! Let Callie go!"  
  
With a last look of disgust, Mommy let Callie go and turned to face Daddy. And Callie didn't care. She didn't watch, and she didn't move. She just stood there. Little pink bow... frilly little dress... yelling and cuss words...Barbie dolls and pretty blue eyes staring off into nothingness... it was only and matter of time before...  
  
"You Son..."  
  
*******************************************************  
  
George O'Toole was a neighbor from across the street.  
  
"of a b****"  
  
George couldn't believe what he had just seen. Mrs. Daansi had just decked Mr. Daansi across the face and his nose was bleeding. Mr. Daansi looked about ready to hit back. In addition, they were still standing really close to little Callie. He felt afraid for the child, so he inched forward, and when he got a chance he...  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Mr. O'Toole had his hand on Callie, and at first nothing was different, the voices yelling, the crowd gasping, some glass breaking, and Callie not feeling. Only then... she did...  
  
Callie felt everything!  
  
Mr. O'Toole was afraid... not for himself but for her. Callie pulled away from him. She ran a few steps out into the middle of her backyard. Her parents still fighting on her left and the neighbors were gawking all around her.  
  
She felt all of them! She felt their embarrassment at the situation, their guilt and their pain... and especially their pity. The emotions came in from all around her. As she soaked up the current surface emotion, she felt the underlying ones coming through as well.  
  
The guilt of one neighbor for not going to see her mother last week, the embarrassment of another at not bringing a gift to the party... a third with a dread to go home tonight because the nightlight was still broken and he was afraid of the dark...  
  
Then something else happened... to Callie's already bombarded mind an emotion took control. It screamed inside of her head and drowned all of the others out. Rage. Pure, blind, and out of control. It felt like knives inside her head. She slid to the ground... down on both knees. The rage, it was coming from her parents!  
  
Who by the way weren't paying any attention to her! She hadn't cared before... but now it made Callie mad!  
  
Parents screaming at each other. Voices yelling emotions and memories inside her head. Rage & Fear drowning her inside of them. Sticking to her lungs so she couldn't breathe, burrowing through her bones and rushing to her brain... Callie could feel them all! Hear them all! The rage was overwhelming... nothing like it! Nothing but it... Callie couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
All of the people were afraid now- why? What were they afraid of? Her?!  
  
"Fine!" She spat with barrowed rage...  
  
Let them be afraid.  
  
She had to stop this feeling! She had to get her parents to stop being so angry! She had to make them stop hurting!  
  
Another punch from her mother to her dad...  
  
Mommy never notices me! Never!  
  
A scream... mothers herding their children away from the scene... some members of the crowd just staring at her!  
  
Daddy never listens!  
  
Callie's head felt like it was about to blow apart. All of the fear from the crowd was gone; all of the other emotions were gone, replaced instead with the purest rage the surrounding mass had ever felt.  
  
They had all recalled a memory that caused them to respond in a mad powerful force of rage... Callie wasn't sure how she had done it... but she pulled all of their rage into herself... into her own body... felt it like an acid smoke snaking its way into her lungs, through her bones, up her spine and into a distant part of her brain.  
  
Callie sunk, head to the ground, black curls falling in front of her face. The rage swirled down and around in her mind, becoming concrete, hard in her head, solid and painful...  
  
Her parents had stopped yelling... they were looking at her...  
  
Good... you're listening!  
  
"Mommy... Daddy... WAKE UP!!"  
  
All swirling thoughts and blinding light, Callie looked up at her parents through her heavy head... and let go! ... But they didn't wake up... ... And Callie's head felt empty again... ... There was nothing left! Nothing left except...  
  
"Oh My God! They're dead!" Mr. O'Toole's voice.  
  
"What the HELL happened?!" William Matthews' voice.  
  
"Callie?" William's voice.  
  
~Dead?~  
  
"My parents are dead?" But no one responded. It was obvious.  
  
"Oh..." Callie said... And she felt nothing. And then she felt...  
  
"God! You're a mutant!" Anna Jacobs' voice.  
  
It was filled with hatred and fear! Callie felt it... Callie felt Anna's fear...it was almost overwhelming. But she liked it...  
  
I love it!  
  
She wanted to suck it all dry from Anna's stupid little head!  
  
Callie smiled as most of her neighbors backed away from her to leave and NEVER return to this house again. She smiled as she watched the other children leave. She smiled as Anna left.  
  
She liked to feel... even if it was just hatred. She liked to hate.  
  
I LOVE to hate!  
  
She vowed to herself to remember this! Remember feeling. Remember the rage that had finally shaken her awake.  
  
"I'm calling 911" Mr. O'Toole's voice. He was afraid. Afraid of her...  
  
Good.  
  
Callie smiled again as she walked over to her Barbie dolls and started to play. 


	3. Your Mission

************Your Mission*************  
  
----------------------------12 years later----------------------------------  
  
aka Present Day  
  
"Yes Provessor? You asked for us?" Kurt Wagner's thick German voice sounded as he entered the man's office-classroom. Logan sauntered in after Kurt closing the large wooden door with a leather boot.  
  
"Yes thank you Kurt." Professor Xavier answered motioning Kurt to take a seat. Kurt nodded in acknowledgment and perched on the back of the chair closest to Xavier's desk.  
  
"And... thank you Logan for getting the door."  
  
A nod and a half smile was all he received as a reply.  
  
"Well," the Professor continued. "I've just received confirmation on one of the newest mutants I've just established recognition with on Cerebra."  
  
"Confirmation?" Kurt inquired.  
  
Charles smiled. "I recently received an e-mail from her father."  
"Sign of the times." Logan stated from his position in the back of the room, leaning against the wall.  
  
Kurt only nodded, still perched- tail twitching back and forth.  
  
"Yes her father... Vargas Montique"  
  
"Hmmm." Logan responded. Though his posture seemed more interested now.  
  
Kurt only looked confused. "Ummm, sorry I have never heard of...?"  
  
"Montique?"  
  
"Ja" Kurt replied. "Vargas Montique is very... high profile... he's..." The professor began.  
  
"A big shot on wall street... owns a coupla Starbucks too..." Logan interrupted. "Seriously loaded... surprised ya haven't heard of him..." he continued, turning to look at Kurt, who only shrugged.  
  
"And therein lies our problem." Charles completed, triumphant to get back on track.  
  
"What? That elf-boy doesn't know about 'em?" Logan grinned.  
  
"No" said the professor suppressing a smiling. "High profile. Apparently, when the girls' powers manifested, someone on the employee payroll leaked it to the newspapers. So dutifully, the press and a fair amount of protestors have surrounded the Montique's estate with the girl and the parents inside. In the letter I received from Vargas, he was afraid the crowd could turn violent. He wants to get Leila, his daughter, out of there as soon as possible." The professor turned his look towards Kurt. "So your mission..."  
  
"Should you choose to accept it..." Kurt continued. It got a snicker out of the Wolverine, but Xavier only sighed and continued.  
  
"... is to go in there, obtain the girl and her family, secure any loose ends, and get back here. And to do it as discreetly as possible." Kurt nodded in acknowledgment. All business.  
  
"And Logan." The professor continued. "You'll go along in case anything gets out of hand. Protect Leila and the Montique's." Logan nodded as well.  
  
"I've written up some information that might be useful. Directions, a layout of the house, a secret way inside, names, list of powers we know the child to possess... They'll be expecting you... so choose a car from the garage and get started as soon as possible. I'll be getting her special accommodations ready while you're away." Professor Xavier concluded.  
  
"Of course Provessor" Kurt bowed and jumped from his perch. Grabbing the indicated papers off of Xavier's desk, he bounded out of the room. Logan went to follow.  
  
*Oh and Logan?* The professor thought.  
  
Wolverine stopped from his position at the doorway, indicating he had heard the Professors thoughts. Raising a questioning eyebrow, he half-turned around.  
  
"Try not to kill anyone." The Professor said aloud.  
  
Logan only smiled, and closed the door.  
  
*********************************************************************** 


	4. Emotional Thief

************Emotion-al Thief*************  
  
"Yeah, ok. You want me to go now? Uh huh, yeah you're the boss."  
  
Callie hanged up the phone and sighed as she stretched out in blue jeans and a fuzzy green sweater. She yawned and stretched again standing up and heading for her closet.  
  
"Time to go to work." She smiled.  
  
Tucking a stray black curl behind her ear, Callie opened her little closet, shifted through a couple of jeans, and, lifting up a fake shoebox, exposed a keypad. Punching in a code, she waited as a breakaway part in the back of the closet twisted outwards... behind it held all the things she would need.  
  
A rope, some assorted high-tech gadgetry, and a gun heavier, Callie closed the closet back up, changed into an all black jumpsuit, and went over her plan.  
  
Get in, get the goods, get out.  
  
Good plan.  
  
Callie was out the door.  
  
***************  
During the drive over, she couldn't help but shake with the anticipation of a new job. Or maybe that was the drivers' next to her anticipation about buying a new car.  
  
Whatever...  
  
Her thoughts drifted to her first job, already years ago. Just a simple in and out late at night in a warehouse. Only a couple of rent-a-cops to worry about... but she had been new to the whole thief-for-hire business and was caught by the three on duty.  
  
Nothing to worry about though, she had felt their fear, made it potent. She used her powers and found their worst memories of being scared... terrified. She enhanced them and caused the guards to stop, frozen and afraid.  
  
Next, having been able to better master her powers she made the fear into energy and through her mind blasted a hole in the warehouse roof, making her escape before the cops could recover. It was messy, but she'd gotten better since then...  
  
Callie loved fear, and anger, hatred was fun too... but rage, that was what she longed for. Rage was precious and pure- completely untamed and so much more... yummy- not to mention powerful for her emotion-driven energy blasts.  
  
Unfortunately, she was pretty certain she wouldn't feel anything as exciting as that tonight. All she had to put up with for this gig was a couple of rich folks and their precious little brat, and that was only if worst came to worst and they actually noticed her... from what she had heard, they had enough to deal with lately.  
  
Whatever.  
  
Callie smiled to herself and sped the car up faster, almost unconsciously draining the excitement out of the driver to her left. The one still pining over his new car.  
  
Her smile broadened as the adrenaline rush pushed her foot farther down on the gas petal.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	5. Growing Pains

**************Growing Pains****************  
  
Vargas Montique was a large man. Six feet, four inches, and 200 plus pounds, he had a Harvard degree and a boxing championship title to boot. Something he often laughed about were those two particular things not exactly coinciding well. He was anything but in a laughing mood at the moment.  
  
He was sitting on his office couch desperately trying to keep his wife of 17 years calm. Laura had been crying hysterically for the past half hour. Ever since a rock with the words, 'Die Mutie Scum' had been hurled through the storage room window. Glass had sprayed the floor in there and the family had taken refuge in Montique's office, shutting and locking all the doors and windowpanes. A little while later, the power in the house had gone out... flashlights and floodlights from storage were placed here and there around the office to try and settle his family's nerves... not that it was working.  
  
Shouts and threats from protestors and news reporters alike could still be heard, albeit muffled through the walls of the old Victorian house. At least Montique hoped they were muffled at least a little to his precious baby girl.  
  
Leila had run under and behind her father's desk the second he had shut the office door. He could see her there, still under his desk, hands over her ear-muffed ears rocking back and forth, tearing brimming over her eyes.  
  
Shaking...  
  
He couldn't stand this anymore! His poor baby! He hoped Xavier would come through... help his daughter. She didn't deserve this. Didn't deserve to me a mutant...  
  
~No! Stop thinking like that! She was one... she was a mutant... is a mutant... and she's still my little girl!~  
  
It wasn't her who had been throwing rocks at the house, hadn't been a mutant who had made his wife cry. Hadn't been a mutant threatening to burn down his house or a mutant who had promised to take PICTURES of it! No. Those were HUMANS out there... what excuse did THEY have?  
  
He wished Xavier's team would get here soon. Get his baby to safety. Laura let out another little sob. He held her close. "Shhh..." he comforted.  
  
~God what do I do?~  
  
All of his security team had abandoned him when they had learned of Leila's condition. In fact, EVERYONE had left... They had left him and his family to the mob outside... of protestors and cameramen... talking heads and picket signs... it made him sick.  
Just two days ago, everything had been normal... two little days, and then the incident with Leila.  
  
****************  
She had been outside at the time, with the nanny. She had been playing and running around, all sweet blonde hair and bright green eyes, and suddenly she had fallen to the ground and hit her knees on the concrete. Leila was seven, and sort of the type to make a little fuss, but no sound came from the girl. The nanny stared, and Laura had run out asking, "Leila, baby, are you alright?" in a reasonable voice. That was when the girl had started crying, though it seemed from Vargas' viewpoint through the back patio screen, she was desperately trying NOT to do so. Stifling the cries, the child had whispered to her mother (Laura had later told him) to stop all of the noise.  
  
No one had been saying a thing, but Laura had signaled everyone around her to be quiet all the same. Apparently, it had been too late.  
  
Leila had held her hands to her ears as if the world was about to fall upon her head, she screamed, her head facing the ground, and falling to the earth, was unconscious. All thought the worst was over, but rumbles and crackles resounded from the ground all around Leila's body.  
  
A tiny earthquake. It had been small, thank God for that, but...  
  
****************  
  
Vargas snapped back to attention because of a noise that didn't sound quite as muffled as the rest. A noise that seemed to be coming from within the house, yet outside of the office...  
  
Vargas stole another glance at his daughter. Still under the desk... rocking. She was ok. Well alive... any little noise was torture to her now...  
  
~Would she ever be OK again?~  
  
With a last squeeze of the hand, and a reassuring kiss, Vargas stood up from the couch and away from his wife. Laura stared at him, then down at their daughter. Stifling a sob she brought her knees up to her chest and started breathing slowly.  
  
Vargas Montique, having taken it out of the storage closet when this whole fiasco began, picked up a tranquilizer gun he had left over from his safari days, and slowly walked over to the large Mahogany office door... he silently counted to three... and opened it.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	6. Gone

*************Gone***************  
  
They had gotten into the building without a hitch. Simply followed Chuck's plans and were now in the Old Victorian's main hallway. All of the lights were out, and with portraits hanging on the walls, it added to the whole creepy haunted mansion effect the place pulled off.  
  
Logan could hear the protestors. All camped outside there on the front lawn, scattered like trash. He was surprised they hadn't just broken down the front door by now.  
  
'Civilization does stuff to people.' He thought to himself, motioning for Kurt to follow him left, towards a large Mahogany door. Logan could sense the three of them inside. The family, dad, mom, kid. Dad smelled like ivory soap and lilacs, lilacs- that came off the mother, she was covered with it. The little girl's smell reminded him of something he couldn't quite place, but often got off of little kids, he figured it was innocence, or something Hallmark-y like that... He also sensed a lot of fear.  
  
~Poor kid...~  
  
Logan felt the instinctual pull of hesitation, causing him to drop back against the wall, into the shadows, when he sensed the male presence in the room move and linger at the door (was he gonna open it?). Kurt went on ahead; unaware of how close they were to the family.  
  
If Vargas did open the door now, Nightcrawler would be the first thing he would see. With all that this family had been through lately, the man was more likely to freak, attack, and feel really bad about it later. Logan was about it suggest to Kurt that maybe the guy without a tail should be the first to talk to the stressed family, Xavier's warnings or not.  
  
That was when the door opened.  
  
***********************  
  
Vargas Montique had been expecting to see a lot of things behind that door. He had fully expected to see a lynch mob, a crash of camera clicks, a SWAT team or two, maybe even a few uniformed bodies of that "team" Xavier had sent. He hadn't been expecting to see the devil though...  
  
Thick indigo skin, pointy teeth (was it smiling at him?), and oh GOD was that a tail?!  
  
It moved to speak, and suddenly Vargas remembered the gun in his hand.  
  
Do tranquilizers work on evil incarnate?  
  
'Well, we're about to find out!' he thought frantically, aiming the gun low- towards the devils' heart.  
  
*********************  
  
Logan saw the man.  
  
'Must be Vargas.'  
  
Logan saw the man freak.  
  
'Kinda expected that.' He smirked.  
  
Logan saw the gun.  
  
'And suddenly it's not so funny anymore.' He thought moving from the shadows. Logan looked at Kurt who didn't look scared. It was just a tranquilizer and he could always BAMF out of the way right?  
  
Logan heard the trigger being pulled. All of a sudden, Kurt got a shocked expression on his face, as if he had gone someplace very far away, or had recalled a very bad memory. Whatever he WAS doing, he was so NOT teleporting to safety. It was just a tranq dart, but we couldn't very well have our escape route unconscious.  
  
"What the hell? Kurt move!" Logan growled pushing the startled mutant out of the way, taking the shot in his neck.  
  
**********************  
  
Callie was on the other side of the Old Victorian. She had by-passed the non-existent security system without a problem, and had been leisurely strolling the corridors for the past ten minutes. Her boss had told her what he wanted was in some kind of safe behind a painting out here somewhere. He might have said exactly where, but Callie hadn't really been paying attention so...  
  
~Treasure hunt!~  
  
Callie felt all of the emotions coming from the people outside.  
  
'It's like one o'clock in the morning! What? Are they gonna SLEEP here?'  
  
Oh well. They WERE proving to make this job a little more entertaining then she had originally anticipated.  
  
All of the hatred and fear. She could understand why people like that did everything in large groups. They were just scared and weak. They needed each other to actually go through the things they normally wouldn't even think about doing. Very predictable...  
  
"Jerks" Callie chided, checking behind another portrait. Nothing.  
  
She moved onto the next. "Ohh found it!" She whispered to herself, bringing out a gadget to crack the numbers to the safe.  
  
The little lights on the machine had just begun blinking her the code when Callie felt an emotion she hadn't been expecting at all...  
  
Confidence.  
  
It was coming from over where she had felt the Montiques located with all of their fear and desperation.  
  
Yep, she had felt a twinge of fear, then pity, and finally the confidence that it would be ok... from WHAT Callie wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. Brimming with the hate and anger she was absorbing from the crowd outside, Callie was determined to take that self-assurance right out of the new presence. Why did it deserve an emotion like that one, huh?  
  
So she took it.  
  
Looking into his mind (defiantly a guy) she quickly replaced that confidence with fear. What made him afraid? What was all his fear in life rooted to?  
  
Callie found it in a horrible memory of mangled bodies, losing faith, and his friends dying all around him ...  
  
Callie smiled as she felt the newcomer freeze with the resurfaced fear.  
  
She started typing in the code to the safe, when all of a sudden she felt...  
  
*****************  
  
A slow unreasonable rage burned deep down in Logan's body. He felt his healing factor work overtime as he plucked the dart form his neck.  
  
Logan suppressed the feelings inside of him. Plus the sudden urge to rip the rich guy's throat out. Instead, he sighed and dragged Kurt, who had suddenly snapped out of wherever it was HE had been, inside the room before growling a sort of greeting.  
  
"Xavier said you'd be expectin' us. Glad ya got his e-mail..." Logan grumbled humorlessly, trying to shake his head clear.  
  
"Uhhh..." was Vargas' only response.  
  
"Let's try this again ok?" Logan said sitting in a plushy chair, as a wave of dizziness, took effect. "My name's Logan. He's Kurt."  
  
"Umm, Kurt Vogner." Nightcrawler offered, walking closer to the man and extending a three-digit hand.  
  
"Uhhh..." Vargas continued staring at Kurt and then over at Logan- who from his point of view should have been very much unconscious if not dead three times over with a shot to the neck.  
  
"Yes," Kurt continued, putting his hand back down. "Professor Charles Xavier sent us here. Very much professionally, to umm, protect your daughter- Leila, is it not?"  
  
"Umm..."  
  
"Yes!" said another voice from behind the mumbling mountain. "You're here to help my daughter!?" Laura spoke for the first time, standing up from the couch to join her husband. As she came to him, she gently lowered her husband's arm, which now held the empty gun at Nightcrawler's head.  
  
Her husband then snapped awake and put his arm around his wife. Though Nightcrawler couldn't tell who was really comforting whom.  
  
Kurt nodded in agreement, walking over to stand by Logan, who was still sitting- eyes closed. "Are you alright mein freund?" Kurt whispered. Logan only grunted.  
  
~'It was just a tranq, and he was just scared, didn't mean it... why can't I calm down?'~ Logan thought.  
  
"Thank God!" The woman continued, completely oblivious, the husband only nodded. "She's right under there!" Laura turned, pointing under Vargas' desk.  
  
Kurt looked.  
  
Logan stood, also looking.  
  
No one was there.  
  
The girl was gone.  
  
Logan growled.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	7. Suppressed

**********Suppressed************  
  
"What was that?" Callie whispered, absent-mindedly dropping that thing her boss had been so obsessed about in a black bag draped around her shoulder. She closed the safe and replaced the painting.  
  
She had felt an underlying rage in the house that hadn't been there a minute ago. It was coming off this newcomer in waves, torrents...  
  
She moved closer to where she felt the emotion coming from. She tried to enhance the feeling, not wanting to lose it, but this guy was really good at suppressing it.  
  
'Must have a lot of practice.' Callie thought, walking faster.  
  
She tried looking into his mind, but all she found was fog and blood. Plenty of emotion, but no memories to back them up. It confused her, but really just added to intrigue.  
  
She called out once again to this new presence, calling out to his mind, his emotions, with everything she had.  
  
************************  
  
Logan stormed out of the room with a startled Nightcrawler left behind, trying to convince the girl's parents not to worry.  
  
Logan could smell the little girls trail. It was easy to follow. How had she slipped by him in the first place?  
  
He growled at the feelings inside of him.  
  
What the hell had been inside that dart anyway?  
  
~'After I find this girl I'm gonna take that father of hers and...'~  
  
Logan shook his head. Stop thinking like that!  
  
"What the hell is wrong with me?" He rumbled, taking a right turn through the main hallway, his hand dragging along the side of the wall for support.  
  
*************************  
  
Callie turned another corridor and... was face-to-face with a little blonde. Callie's black curls jumped into her face as she stopped short to keep from running into the chicklet.  
  
Callie smiled at her, sensing her fear. Pain came off the girl too. Callie noticed how she was holding her ears, and her interest peaked. So Callie searched her mind for some answers. The girl was definitely Montique's daughter; she had nothing but love and admiration for the man.  
  
That'll change in a few years- Callie smiled to herself. Teenagers were hell.  
  
The girl had apparently run away from her parents. Callie focused on a memory of an e-mail the girl had glanced at. Then later to when her father had opened a large wooden door. So many bad things had happened because of her, Chicklet felt, and she didn't want it to anymore. She had been listening to the people outside and if she had been able to make all of those people so mad, then how long would it be before she made her parents that mad? She didn't know what she had done, so how could she fix it? When the door opened, when everyone wasn't looking, she ran...  
  
"Aww, what a cute little noble Chicklet..." Callie whispered to the girl. "Stupid but... No worries kiddo. When my powers manifested it ended up KILLIN' my folks. If all you've got is a bunch a' cameras and rocks, then I'd say you're doing a bang up job..." Callie paused, and pointed a finger at the girl. "Good luck with that."  
  
Callie went to walk around the girl, 'Kids are annoying anyway' when she then stood two feet away from the man who had compelled her to abandon any hope of a stealthy get-away.  
  
Rage still showered off him like a tsunami. Callie once again tried to raise it, tried to pull it into herself.  
  
No luck.  
  
~ 'God this guy was stubborn! Wonder what would really piss him off?' ~  
  
Callie had a good idea.  
  
Wolverine balled his hands into fists and brought his arms down in front of him, staring at Callie and then down at Leila.  
  
Callie pulled a gun out of her jacket.  
  
She pointed it at the little girl's head.  
  
******************************************************************** 


	8. As Discreetly As Possible

*************As Discreetly as Possible**************  
  
Logan felt the familiar pinch of metal slicing skin as he found his claws pointing directly at this new woman's throat. He had been weary of her from the start, figured she was some wanna-be cat burglar who had heard of the Montique's misfortune and had decided to take advantage. Not any real threat, but already trying his frayed patience. Just "talk" her into going back outside and no one gets hurt... and then...  
  
~What the hell is it with guns tonight?~  
  
This one was real though... this one was lethal. No falling asleep with nothing but a hang over to worry about, no. This was different. This was cold and stabbing death. At least to the little girl. This simple thief seemed a whole lot more professional all of a sudden.  
  
The dark haired girl smiled at him.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" he managed to get out through clenched teeth.  
  
She looked at him incredulously, as if it was completely obvious.  
  
"It's my birthday." She sneered, squinting her eyes at him, ready to pull the trigger.  
  
He felt the animal inside of him scream. He had felt it before of course, (not quite sure it ever even leaves...) the age-old battle of man against beast, right there, inside of him.  
  
A fight he could remember having for all of his existence.  
  
The man on one side, just wanting to find his purpose in life, wanting to find peace, and the other, the force inside Logan that drove him to think things... do things... that he just didn't understand. He felt that force grow stronger inside of him, as a quiet whimper escaped Leila's lips, her big eyes brimming over with tears.  
  
And he lost control.  
  
Just for a second, the monster was free; Logan felt a howl come to his lips but suppressed it, again taking control... but that second had been all that Callie needed.  
  
He stopped to think up his next move, no thoughts would come... everything came out mangled and crazy. He fought to keep control, remembered all his training, but nothing would help- wouldn't be very much good to go all feral in front of the little kid.  
  
~I'm supposed to be the one protecting her.~  
  
He felt himself shrinking back into nothingness. All things became different, and all things became red. It was a much prettier world when you couldn't tell the difference between friend or foe. So much nicer when you could just kill *everything*, and not feel at all guilty about it.  
  
He tried to lunge at uber-girl, but as quickly as these primal emotions had taken control of him, they were taken away.  
  
There were no memories to work with, nothing to trace the rage back to... it was just there, like a living thing all its own. So Callie took it like a living thing... and she didn't fill her captive with fear or any other emotion... she simply left him there, losing all the things that had once defined him, taking all his rage and all the anger until there was simply nothing left.  
  
Logan looked up at his tormenter. Looked at her and felt grateful, felt relieved. Her body was glowing with untapped energy. Logan felt the corners of his vision start to dim, felt the pull of a deep black oblivion, and welcomed it, no less complex then that, he just... fell.  
  
**************************  
  
Callie didn't want to stop. She had never felt this powerful before. She felt the edges of the man's mind waver, felt it and didn't care. The rage was still pouring off of him and into her ever since she had made him let go of that close control he had kept... she could tell why he had to be so suppressed.  
  
This feeling that was being absorbed into her wasn't from a specific point in time, but rather felt forever and for no reason. It was just there, always and with varying degrees depending on the situation that he was in, and how well he could concentrate on controlling it.  
  
Nothing was left but the emotions floating between the two. Callie felt Logan dying, the rage was just as strong but the energy behind it was faltering. She felt a pull of guilt. Tried to stop, she didn't want to kill anybody, but just couldn't help wanting more. It scared her but that emotion was soon swallowed up, leaving nothing but the rage. Everything turned red. Callie couldn't think anymore. Everything was prey. She could feel herself becoming lost, but she wouldn't give this up! Couldn't...  
  
She locked onto the dying man and dug deeper, his heart beat fading...  
  
************************ Back 3 Minutes  
  
Being left behind, Kurt tried to explain to the girls' parents that everything would be fine. They would simply find Leila, something that his partner was excellent at doing (finding people), and then take her and the parents out of harms way back through the secret entrance that had allowed the X-Men to enter in the first place. Just a little hike to the car past that and it was smooth sailing. They didn't look very impressed.  
  
Looking around the office, Kurt could see the safari décor. An elephant rifle here, a stuffed peacock there... yeah, real homey. He could suddenly understand why Vargas just happened to have a spare tranquilizer dart handy.  
  
Kurt also noticed an old sword hanging on the wall. He was just about to tell the Montiques his expertise with such things, even smiled at the thought of it. However, noticing the way the Montiques winced at the gesture, his smile, made him pause. Instead, he kept a respectful silence and hung his head...not in shame, NEVER in shame, but rather with the knowledge that some people have not quite mastered the ability to see simply with their hearts.  
  
"So you really one of Xavier's team?" the father asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Ja. Yes sir... I apologize for any... stress... my appearance might have caused." Kurt replied nodding, letting his tail lay limp, to call less attention to it.  
  
"I'm sorry too. Professor Xavier said that he would give the specifics of the team he would be sending in the next e-mail. Umm... the power went off before it could go through I guess. I just wasn't expecting... I'm just sorry." Montique continued, looking down at his feet.  
  
"It really doesn't matter what you look like, as long as you're here for Leila." The mother solaced, still clinging to her husband, and hoping that that sentence hadn't come out to harshly.  
  
"And I certainly am, Logan as well." Kurt acknowledged wholeheartedly, obviously not offended.  
  
"Yes..." started Mrs. Montique. " Your partner, appearances aside, he still makes me nervous, are you sure..."  
  
"Who? Logan! No, he's harmless!" Kurt said with a wave of his hand.  
  
'When he's asleep.' He thought smiling inwardly.  
  
~Well, even then...~  
  
"What was that?" Vargas asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing I..." Kurt stuttered. 'Is he a telepath? That wasn't in the Professor's notes! I hope he didn't hear any of my comments on that hideous bear rug in the hallway...'  
  
"No, that noise. Out in the hall. Can you hear it?"  
  
Kurt listened and undeniably could. 'Logan.'  
  
"Excuse me!" he cried urgently, springing out of the room.  
  
The Montiques remained, still hugging each other tight.  
  
*********************************  
  
Being a few minutes behind his partner Kurt had hurriedly bounded through the hallways, trying to pick up more sounds to follow.  
  
He had found Logan staring at a woman dressed all in black. ~It was like evil people had a dress code or something.~ Kurt stayed back and hid unsure of what to do now that he also saw Leila in between the two of them.  
  
Logan's claws were fully extended and a deep growl escaped his throat. Then just as suddenly, Logan stopped and Kurt could here the snakt of metal through flesh as Logan's claws went back into their housings. He fell to the floor.  
  
Kurt could remember the way he had felt before, how he had frozen with fear, as thoughts he hadn't cared to think of ever again had suddenly resurfaced with a vengeance. With the way Logan was looking, could this dark haired woman possibly be behind it all? What could she possibly have for a reason to endanger an innocent child?  
  
Logan started shaking and Kurt could see the woman seem to glow with energy. Leila was stifling sobs and looking lost, unable to move, because of fear- even though the mystery woman had dropped the gun and was putting her full attention on whatever it was she was doing to Logan.  
  
She didn't even notice when Kurt came closer, out of the shadows, to better assess the situation.  
  
He wasn't exactly sure of what could be done against a woman who could bring down the Wolverine so quickly, but he had to try.  
  
With a last look at the little child, and his now unconscious friend, Kurt knew exactly where he needed to go. With a small prayer, he concentrated and felt the universe twist open and around him. The familiar smell of brimstone and the unique sound of imploding air filled the main hallway of the Old Victorian.  
  
BAMF!!  
  
*************************  
  
Suddenly it was gone! Callie had closed her eyes, trying not to see how she was hurting the man, when suddenly everything she had been pulling inside of her head had vanished. Opening her eyes, she saw that her salvation was gone!  
  
Callie screamed with rage, snapping back into herself. The empty nothingness already beginning to creep back inside of her, the feeling she had when she went too long without absorbing any emotions. She would have hated that feeling if she had been able to hate when she felt it.  
  
She hadn't felt any of her own emotions ever since she was three years old, it was all borrowed. And with all borrowed things, it meant she had to lose it in the end... give it back...  
  
"NO!" she yelled.  
  
Suddenly Callie remembered the little girl. Maybe she knew who he was; maybe that brat could get him back. Callie looked farther down to realize that whatever had taken the man had taken Montique's daughter as well.  
  
Callie seethed, walking towards the front doors of the Victorian. All of the left over energy that Logan had created in Callie started to solidify in her mind. That meant she had to get rid of it.  
  
"No..." she twisted, holding her head. She didn't want to give this up. It had been the only time other then when her powers had first emerged that Callie had felt part of something greater.  
  
No rent-a-cop or big shot boss had ever come close to making her feel this powerful. Even her parents had only scratched the tip of the iceberg when it came to emotional nirvana, and now she had to give it up!?  
  
Callie screamed out her rage, focusing all of her energy on the front of the house.  
  
The entire front wall ripped off its lodgings. Wood and plaster fell like shrapnel and debris over the front yard. Wounded and stunned reporters all turned into their fellow protestors, and since the front door had already been knocked down for them (or more so blown to bits), they simply followed suit, erupting in so much chaos into the house.  
  
Panic ensued, and somewhere a fire started.  
  
All in all a very bad experience for the Montique's who were still in Vargas' office.  
  
Good for Callie though. No one even noticed her as she stormed out the way she had blasted through... remnants of clouded memory and rage filling her mind.  
  
She'd see that man again, if it was the last thing she ever did! He could count on it!  
  
*******************  
  
After introducing himself, quietly, to Leila, Nightcrawler had placed her in the front seat of the car.  
  
He felt exhausted and oddly nauseous. Still couldn't believe he had managed a three person teleport for five miles... well he had had to teleport every half mile or so, about three or four times, but they had made it to the car relatively unharmed. Except that Logan was still unconscious. His breathing was irregular as well. Kurt had gently placed him in the back seat upon arriving to the car.  
  
Nightcrawler slumped down into the drivers' seat of the 1956 modified Chevy truck Wolverine had insisted on taking, fatigue immediately taking hold. He ignored it. He had heard the explosion coming from the Victorian house. He also noticed through the window shield a fire getting started.  
  
The Montique's were still in there.  
  
Nightcrawler wasn't sure of what to do. He couldn't leave them there! But with the way he felt he couldn't teleport for very far, or even at all, at the moment, not to mention with the way he looked he'd instill the mob even greater...He was so tried but...  
  
Kurt sighed, resolved to go in anyway, when the communicator on the dashboard of the car started to beep.  
  
'Gespart durch die Glocke' he whispered, answering it. *  
  
"Logan!" It was the Professor's voice.  
  
"I'm here Provessor." Kurt stated wearily.  
  
"Kurt what's happening up there? A huge spike of energy just registered on Cerebro."  
  
~'At two o'clock in the morning, he's on Cerebro... he just seriously needs a hobby! Or was Cerebro his hobby?'~ Kurt shook his head, trying to fight off fatigue, and with it, obviously irrelevant thoughts.  
  
Kurt relayed the sparknotes version of what had taken place, and only after Xavier had promised to immediately take the Blackbird personally to calm down the crowd-turned-mob and protect the Montiques', did Kurt agree to drive Logan and the girl directly back to the mansion.  
  
After hanging up the comm., Kurt chanced a look at the girl, Leila, she was still holding her ears, and visibly shaking. She cautiously eyed Nightcrawler back... cautiously, but acceptingly.  
  
"I'm here to help you little v'one. You know this, ok?" he whispered, trying to comfort her.  
  
"He was here to help me too." She whispered back, looking down at her feet (just like her father). Nightcrawler glanced at the back seat through the rear view mirror... at Logan. "And look what happened..."  
  
Tears filled her eyes.  
  
Nightcrawler quickly thought a prayer for her and for Logan then said, " He'll be alright. That is HIS mutation. He is ALWAYS alright."  
  
She still looked down, but gave a reassuring smile.  
  
"Close your eyes and try to rest."  
  
Putting on her seat belt, Leila leaned against the car door and rested her head on her arm. She closed her eyes as her left hand automatically covered the ear that was facing upwards. Kurt couldn't imagine her actually sleeping after all that had happened to her, but it was nice to know that she trusted him.  
  
Buckling his seat belt with his tail, Kurt sighed as he started the car's engine.  
  
Tonight had certainly been interesting. The end no less then the beginning, for now here it was, two o'clock in the morning, a car with a frightened seven–year-old girl in the front seat, a bleeding unconscious man spread out in the back, and a driver who... well with the way HE looked?  
  
Suppose someone pulled them over...  
  
'My kingdom for an image inducer...' he thought, again exhausted.  
  
Hoping that he wasn't just taking for granted that Logan always healed, Kurt pushed down hard on the accelerator, immediately regretting Logan's choice of a stick-shift car.  
  
It was gonna be a long drive home...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Translation: * "Saved by the Bell" 


	9. Blue Flamingos

***********Blue Flamingos*************  
  
Leila could NOT believe what has happening around her. Never in a million years could she have imagined something like this. Not even from T.V. or a nightmare! Not that this was a nightmare, far from it, but...  
  
The first thing she had seen, of course, was Kurt who aside from being blue, had glowing yellow eyes and a tail. She justified it by realizing that her favorite color was blue, yellow was a close second, and the tail? Well he was really nice, so she could look past the tail thing.  
  
Next, Leila had seen a lion. Well not a real lion, a man-lion... whatever that meant. Plus, he was blue also.  
  
She was beginning to wonder if maybe they had all eaten too many blueberries, or at least something that makes you turn blue, like how flamingos turn pink because of what they eat... she had learned that the last time she had gone to the zoo. It was reasonable right? They DID all live at the same house. They might all eat the same food...  
  
If she stayed here, would she turn blue too?  
  
Anyway, the blue lion-man said his name was Hank. Dr. Hank. He had come up to the car they had driven in once they had reached a really big place with iron gates and vines growing everywhere. She wondered if it was a hotel. Dr. Hank said, sort of. He whispered to her that it was a place where people who were special, who needed help, or who needed a place to learn, lived, and that he had spent a lot of time trying to find a way for her ears not to hurt her anymore.  
  
Another person, Dr. Hank called him Bobby, came up and took her by the hand. Dr. Hank told Bobby about her ears, and then asked him to take her to the 'med-lab', that he would meet us there once he had a look at Wolverine. (That was the guy who had tried to help her. He was still asleep and hurt in the back of the truck.)  
  
She didn't want to leave Kurt though. She ran back to him and grabbed his hand, as he got out of the truck. He looked down at her and smiled.  
  
"It will be alright Leila. I have to talk to Hank about what happened earlier. You go with Bobby now and I'll see you in the lab." He told her, kneeling down and stroking a stray blonde hair behind her ear.  
  
Leila smiled weakly and let him place her hand back into Bobby's.  
  
Bobby... now Bobby had blown her blue-flamingo thing out of the water. Either that or he hadn't been here long enough. She was about to ask him about it, when they reached the front door.  
  
There were a lot of people inside of the hotel/school thing and she could hear them all breathing in their rooms, most of them asleep. It was 3 o'clock in the morning so she could understand why. She was worried though. When everyone woke up, how could they all know to whisper? What was she supposed to do?  
  
Bobby must have noticed her hesitation as the door closed behind them, because he stopped and kneeled down so that she could look into his ice- blue eyes.  
  
"It's alright Lei," he whispered. ~Daddy calls me Lei.~ "I know this place is big but you'll get used to it. We're just gonna go into the med- lab okay? Hank said that he had a place in there you could go into that wouldn't hurt your ears, until he gets a chance to finish that thing he was telling you about."  
  
"That machine that will make my ears normal again?"  
  
"Yeah kiddo. So don't worry I won't leave you until he has a chance to come talk to you about it again ok?"  
  
"And Kurt's coming too?"  
  
"Yeah, him too." Bobby finished, smiling at her.  
  
He got up, and they continued walking down the silent deserted halls of the X-Mansion.  
  
************************  
  
After their slow quiet walk down to the lab, Bobby showed Leila the "accommodations" that the blue lion doctor had been talking about. It looked more like a see through box with a bed inside.  
  
Leila looked around her at everything else in the room. There were weird smelling things, and lots of metal. Kurt and Dr. Hank were already there! She went to wave at them when she noticed who they were standing by. It was that man who had tried to save her. Logan? He was still asleep.  
  
"Everyone who tries to help me gets hurt."  
  
Bobby tried to tell her that everything would be ok. He whispered that she should go inside the room for a while. There would be no noise inside to hurt her ears.  
  
Leila did as she was told, still staring over at the bed the man had been placed on through the glass. Bobby closed the door and stood outside of it right close by her, just like he'd promised.  
  
Leila had the first relief she'd had in days from all the deafening noise and vibrations, but was blinded to it. All she could think of, was that what had happened to Logan was because of her.  
  
"It's all my fault." She whispered to no one, and no one heard, no one could. She laid down on the little bed inside the little glass room and closed her eyes.  
  
*************************** 


	10. Out of the Woods

***************Out of the Woods*******************  
  
Jean walked through the corridors to the med-lab with a purpose. She had gone to bed a couple of hours previously, but had heard the psychic link that Professor Xavier had practically yelled into her head right before he left to help the Montique's.  
  
The doors opened before her and the first thing she noticed was a girl she knew had to be Leila. She smiled at the little blonde sleeping in her room and continued around the bend to the medical beds. Third one down... Logan.  
  
She paused at the foot of it.  
  
The body upon it slowly breathed in and out. It was a steady rhythm, which by the relieved look on Kurt's face and the thoughts she picked up on, hadn't been the case until recently. She still couldn't believe what had happened.  
  
Trapped in guilty thoughts of "not being there" despite not knowing what HAD exactly happened, she jumped when Hank placed his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Sorry..." he paused. She smiled at him and he continued. "Thanks for getting up in the middle of the night. I wanted you to take a look at Logan. Something unprecedented has happened to him, and while there is no external damage and his... healing factor still seems to be operational, we just want..." he paused to search for the right words.  
  
"To take a look inside, but it's kind of impossible to take an MRI of a guy with a metal skeleton." Bobby interjected from his chair in front of the glass room holding the little girl. "What with the magnets and all..." Kurt added. He was at the head of Logan's bed.  
  
Jean smiled, thankful for the humor, and asked, "How do you know his healing factor is still working?"  
  
Hank shifted uneasily.  
  
Nightcrawler answered. "Bobby froze his finger."  
  
"Look it healed!" Bobby exclaimed jumping up and pointing at the digit.  
  
Jean sighed. "Couldn't you have just given him a paper cut?" She stared at Hank incredulously.  
  
Bobby just shrugged, walking back to his chair. Hank changed the subject.  
  
"Kurt will let you in on all of what happened tonight, and why we think it's imperative for Logan to be woken up as soon as possible." He hurried back over to the monitors that held Logan's readouts.  
  
After Kurt relayed the affairs of the evening, Jean sat down next to the medical bed that held her friend. She concentrated her mind flowing into his.  
  
*Logan?* She thought.  
  
No answer.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Callie was a mutant.  
  
Callie could see the memory of when different emotions existed in other people... more accurately, when the strongest point of that emotion existed. Even if it had happened years ago, Callie could find the memory and make the person relive it, causing the emotion to come back ten fold.  
  
Callie could go back for any emotion... when a person felt the most love, when they had felt the most afraid...  
  
And when she had taken the strongest fear the little girl had ever felt... What she had seen in that little chicklet brat's memory was:  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The father with a laptop facing the wall.  
  
The mother rummaging through old boxes... to get the winter clothes out... the earmuffs... to get the earmuffs for Chicklet.  
  
Chicklet had seen the computer screen- an e-mail was open on it; she glanced at it on her tiptoes over the shoulder of her father.  
  
Callie knew what was on it... at least the parts the little girl had read... the word Xavier stuck out in her mind... then the window came crashing down around her... and her mother had started crying, and Chicklet was scared.  
  
OK WHATEVER! Callie shook her head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xavier.  
  
A new beginning... a place to start... but what was Xavier? A person, a place... a really big dog?  
  
Callie had a good idea of who might know. He seemed to know everything.  
  
****************************  
  
Callie didn't waste any time. Still glowing and seething with residual rage, she pulled up to her boss' palace. Palace was a strong word; maybe "awkwardly enormous" house was better. The house had yellow walls and blood-red windowpanes. It looked even more imposing and horrible then it sounded. Callie had been here plenty of times before.  
  
Teeth clenched and mind jumbled, she barely missed the Porsche in the front driveway. She did, however, jam the car into park without it reaching a complete stop, ramming her left arm up and across her door and the dashboard, creating a nasty gash.  
  
The pain renewed the rage still left inside of her and she ripped the door off the car with a glowing hand.  
  
Looking at the door with disgust, she dropped it to the ground with careless force and, leaving her black shoulder bag there in the back of the car, she grinded herself forcefully towards the front door.  
  
Through shimmering eyes, Callie stopped at the door for half a second. Actually thinking about knocking on it for less then that, she blew it right off its hinges.  
  
~This can go the easy way... or the hard way...~  
  
Either one she'd get some answers.  
  
Not wasting her time with something as clichéd as "Honey I'm home." She smiled at the security guards running towards her.  
  
"Hi!" Callie started, pretending to wave at the men. Half way up, her hand grabbed hold of the table she was standing by. Just imagine that as her bat, and the guards as the balls. They went flying with a sickening thud resounding through the house at the end hallway.  
  
~Could never do that before...~  
  
This guy had made her strong. It was like everything about her was different. The rage wasn't leaving like Callie had thought it would. It definitely wasn't as concentrated as it had been, but it still grabbed a hold of her insides, screaming.  
  
She had never killed anyone... other then... that rage had stayed with her as well. In fact, all of their emotions had stayed with her, two lifetimes of regrets all poured down into a little girl... They stayed with her all through the rest of her childhood... all through the psych evaluations and the foster homes, the mental homes... Her boss had finally helped her claw her way free of it... free of her parents... finally out of the woods.  
  
That man back in the Montique's, he... he had been close to death.  
  
When she found him again, maybe if she did kill him...  
  
Well, it wouldn't be a "borrowed" emotion if there was no one to give it back to. And she loved the way she felt... it was all so simple. She didn't want to be free of this.  
  
Callie smiled dropping the table. That was when he came in from upstairs... her boss.  
  
"Is there a reason for all of this... sweetheart?" he patronized from the top of the stairs.  
  
Callie allowed her smile to spread. She looked at him through feral eyes and growled.  
  
"This is... new. Callie sweetie don't try to scare me... I have neural inhibitors on..." he said pointing to his cuff links. "You know your powers don't work on me."  
  
He started walking down the stairs.  
  
"What's Xavier?" Callie rumbled.  
  
"What? You mean who?" He asked wearily, looking over at the unconscious forms of his guards. "Was that absolutely necessary?" he stopped, hand flipping in the air towards their general direction. One of them groaned.  
  
"Who's Xavier?" Callie growled.  
  
"Sweetheart listen," he continued, slowly walking over towards the guard station (there were guns in there Callie knew). "He's just some old man with a bunch of kids and a school. Why do you want to know?"  
  
"Where's the school?" Callie seethed, as her boss finally reached the station.  
  
"God Callie, I know you live a secluded life and all," he said quickly, grabbing a gun from across the partition of the station. "But you really just don't know ANYTHING, do you?" he yelled pointing it at her.  
  
Callie just smiled.  
  
She'd get her answers the hard way then...  
  
************************************************************************ 


	11. Sights and Sounds

**********Sights and Sounds****************  
  
'Logan?'  
  
No answer.  
  
Jean sighed.  
  
'Logan.'  
  
Nothing.  
  
"I can't believe this." Jean sighed again, leaning back into the chair she had been sitting in for the past forty minutes. "A simple mission and then this random mutant comes out of the woodwork and decimates Wolverine... I mean, did I wake up in some bizarre alternate universe?"  
  
"Wouldn't be the first time..." Hank offered, while sipping coffee from his place at Logan's readouts.. "You'll get through to him Jeanie."  
  
Jean leaned farther back in her chair and gave a small smile to show her gratitude. She looked back down at Logan.  
  
He was gone. Consciously, spiritually, just entirely, gone. It was like a coma, like Havok? No this was different, completely, and she didn't know what to do.  
  
'Logan?'  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Damn it." She whispered sitting back up straight in her chair. She took Logan's hand in hers.  
  
"Come on Logan... Come back." She stared at his closed eyes and leaned forward...  
  
Someone walking through the lab-doors made her lean back again against her chair, but she didn't let go of his hand.  
  
"How is he?" Scott Summers voice came from behind her. He walked up behind the chair and placed his hand on her shoulder towards her neck. With her free hand she placed it on top of his. One hand on each man.  
  
"If you mean 'is he'... as in 'Is he even here?' then I have no idea."  
  
Jean felt the puzzled state of her husband's mind.  
  
"I can't find him Scott! He's not in there!"  
  
"You will... he'll be ok."  
  
Jean forced a smile and, releasing both of her hands, stood up.  
  
"The Professor is still at the Montique's" Scott informed her.  
  
"From what Nightcrawler told us it'll take him a while to sort through all of that." Jean replied looking over to the next medical bed, where a sleeping Kurt could be found.  
  
"A mob? It should've taken him seconds." Scott's voice sounded annoyed.  
  
"To stop them maybe," Jean stretched. "But to get them to all go home and not come back, to get the Montique's house in order, to find out about this mystery mutant, and to deal with the news reporters... he might be back next week."  
  
"Hmmm..." said Scott agreeably. "There was a fire too."  
  
Jean briefly smiled, and placed her head on the shoulder of her husband and closed her eyes.  
  
"Why don't you just use Cerebro and find Mystery Girl? We can get some answers." He asked her.  
  
"I would, but there's just too much unknown, if we did find her then what? Only half of the X-Men are here right now, the Professors off playing "Psychologist" to the masses, and I'd just rather start when we have more force to back it up." She stated, looking up into his shaded eyes.  
  
"You're not force enough?"  
  
"I'm..." she paused looking down.  
  
"Jean?" Looking past her husband to the monitors behind him, Jean faced the Leonine doctor who had said her name. "Sorry to interrupt, but Logan's heart rate is back to his normal baseline. It had been much slower when he first arrived."  
  
Jean looked back over at Wolverine.  
  
She released herself from Scott's arms and sat on the side of the medical bed. Raising her hands to Logan's temples, she closed her eyes and felt the world open up around her as she expanded her psychic powers to envelope him.  
  
'Logan?' she whispered inside of his head. 'Logan, it's time to wake up ok?'  
  
A flash of sight and sound brushed past her mind.  
Jean smiling, sitting, talking—everyday things.  
  
Jean smiled on the outside.  
  
'Yeah Logan, it's Jean. You need to wake up now ok?' A small noise, like a collective sigh in the back of her mind, reassured her that Logan was indeed back inside of his head.  
  
'What happened Logan?' Jean asked, trying to give him time enough to organize his thoughts, so he didn't have to wake up disoriented; He hated that.  
  
She let herself relax deeper into his mind, trying to bring up the memory of what had happened earlier this evening. She slipped.  
  
Not expecting his mind to be so open, even unconscious previous times it had been a struggle to break down his defenses to even say hello, she slipped further into his mind then she had intended to.  
  
She felt memories flash by her:  
  
Logan in Japan with Mariko.  
  
Logan trapped in the Weapon X program.  
  
Logan with wolves in the Canadian wilderness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Logan a scared little boy with bleeding hands...  
  
"What?" Jean said opening her eyes and snapping straight up.  
  
"What's wrong? You ok?" Scott asked from behind her.  
  
"I... no I'm fine. I just, I've never seen that in Logan before."  
  
"Well..." Scott began. "Logan has... done a lot of... things... in his life, he.."  
  
"No Scott, you don't understand. Everything was so open. It was almost..."  
  
"Almost what?"  
  
"Almost normal."  
  
"Normal as in... human? Not mutant? Or normal as in..." Scott began, looking for words.  
  
"No, normal as in not a mind with a thousand conflicting emotions. Going into Logan's head almost always ends with me having a headache. It's difficult for him to differentiate between friend or foe inside of his mind... even if he knows who's trying to psychically link with him. It's aftermath of Weapon X training I know, but this time... I just fell into his mind and I don't know... I can't explain it... It's like Logan's mind was horribly concentrated before... but what I saw was the watered down version... it was more like Bobby's or yours or Hank...It was so open..."  
  
"So do you think his mind has healed some? Maybe he can remember things now that he couldn't before..." Hank started, already forming theories, trying to wake up enough to figure them out.  
  
"No... I don't know... it's not completely normal... things are cloudy... I don't think I should look again. We can ask him when he wakes up." She smiled .  
  
"So then, he will? Wake up soon?" asked Kurt hopefully. He had woken up since Jean's initial outburst, and was trying to swipe Hank's coffee cup with his tail.  
  
"Yes." Jean smiled. Settling back down into her chair to wait. "He will."  
  
*******************  
  
Leila had fallen asleep within ten minutes of being inside her glass house. She hadn't slept in two days, not since her powers manifested, and she was grateful for the relief. Only then, she had to... well she... ummm...  
  
She tapped on the glass. No one heard her. Everyone was sitting around Logan, and this really pretty lady with red hair had her hands on Logan's forehead and then she looked like she was sleeping. Suddenly the red- haired woman gasped awake... though Leila couldn't hear it. She couldn't hear anything... which would have been fine but...  
  
She tapped on the glass again.  
  
******************  
  
Jean smiled from her chair. "Hank, Leila has to use the restroom."  
  
"What?" the lion yawned. "Oh! Ok... well, Bobby can..."  
  
"Bobby's asleep and Bobby's a boy, and Bobby's not taking a little girl to the bathroom..." Bobby said from his chair with his eyes closed.  
  
Jean smiled, standing up. "I'll take her."  
  
"Ok..." Hank agreed. "That reminds me... let her try these out." He said holding up what looked like little hearing aids.  
  
"When did you do that?" Kurt asked, leaning on Hank's readout table, sipping his coffee.  
  
"Unlike some of us who have been sleeping, are now drinking MY coffee, and will remain nameless... his initials are Kurt Wagner, I've been working for the past twelve hours and..." he looked at a pretend watch. " Forty minutes on this." Hank glared at the blue mutant.  
  
Kurt took another sip.  
  
"And I haven't just been looking at monitors of Logan... I measured Leila's ears when she first arrived... I think they're ready for a test run. She was asleep... but since were all awake now..." Hank said eyeing Bobby. "We'll give this a try." Hank moved over to the glass entrance of Leila's "room" and motioned for Leila to cover her ears while he opened the door. Once open he helped her with the "hearing aids".  
  
"Leila... can you hear me?" He asked in a normal voice.  
  
She looked at him puzzled... she saw his lips move, but clearly couldn't hear.  
  
He tried again. "LEILA CAN YOU HEAR ME?"  
  
"Hey! What is up with that? Warn a guy first would ya!" Bobby protested, eyes snapping open and turning to glare at the Beast.  
  
"Sorry... anyway, Leila... Jean can you tell her I'm going to adjust the volume to a lower frequency on her auditory modifiers." He said turning back to his lab equipment.  
  
"Of course Hank." Jean walked over to the little girl and kneeled down.  
  
~Hi! My name is Jean. Dr. Hank just wants to let you know that you'll be able to hear in a bit ok?~ Jean thought inside of her mind.  
  
"OK!" the girl answered out loud, very loudly, not knowing her own force because she couldn't hear it. Bobby grumbled from his chair. Cyclops smacked him without looking.  
  
Hank turned a small dial he had picked up from the lab table.  
  
"Leila can you hear me?" He tried again.  
  
"Wow!" she smiled. "Yeah Dr. Hank! I can hear you and... It doesn't hurt anymore! Thank you sooo much!" the seven year old squealed running up to give the blue lion as big a hug as she could give.  
  
He smiled a huge genuine smile. "My pleasure sweetie... Here." He said placing the dial in her hand. "You can adjust it any way you want. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make it better."  
  
Leila smiled... then it disappeared. "Umm thank you so much and all but I was kinda wondering if maybe... I have ta go to the bathroom!" She jumped up and down a little to get the point across.  
  
"Come on Leila, I'll take you." Jean took the young mutant's hand and they walked out of the lab doors.  
  
Hank sighed, stretching out his aches and pains and turned to look at Bobby, asleep in his chair.  
  
Scott and Kurt both looked at Hank. He smiled.  
  
"RRRRRROOOOOAARRRR!" He bellowed at the sleeping form. Bobby jerked from his chair and fell to the floor...  
  
"AHHH! You know what McCoy? You're really CRANKY when you don't get enough beauty sleep!" Bobby yelled standing up and facing him.  
  
"Speak for yerself..." a low voice came from the medical beds.  
  
They all turned around to face it.  
  
"Logan..." Scott whispered.  
  
"Hey Slim."  
  
************************************************************************ 


	12. Shakeups and Breakdowns

Thanks again to Jubes for another review!  
  
*************Shakeups and Breakdowns**************  
  
Walking down the mansion halls back to the med lab, Leila could still hear all the sounds of the night. The crickets chirping, the sounds of floorboards creaking as the house settled itself into slumber. But she could no longer hear the steady rhythmic patterns of all the students sleeping or the swooshing sounds of eyelashes as a person blinked.  
  
She hadn't really noticed it all before, or more accurately she had been bombarded with everything all at once and was too busy trying not to go insane, to care about what she heard, but as weird as it sounded she really missed it. She knew she wouldn't miss any of the noise in the morning... when all of the sleeping bodies turned into yelling teenagers... or mobish protestors.  
  
Leila shook the thought from her head. But in all honesty nothing had really changed... she didn't know why those people had been mad at her so how could she prevent it from happening again? Maybe Dr. Hank's ear thingies were the answer. But somehow, Leila didn't think so.  
  
Still, she did miss the sounds and no one was yelling at her now... so...  
  
Leila looked down at the dial that Dr. Hank had given her. Turn the knob to the right and it made the whole world go away, turn it the other way and it came crashing back inside of her head.  
  
Leila pumped the dial left.  
  
The universe opened back up. She hadn't realized how much she had longed for all of those noises. The crickets were all spread out in the front yard, the lotus bugs cooed and echoed, the breath of a hundred different mutants all escaped in a hundred different ways.  
  
'Maybe this isn't so bad.' She thought to herself. 'Especially if I can make it go away so easily. I can feel like this at night, and be normal in the day. Like a secret identity or something. No one would be mad at me if they didn't know.' She smiled looking up to Jean who yawned and smiled back.  
  
Then she heard Kurt's voice.  
  
"Ich bin so froh Sie sind wach!!" *  
  
It was so loud. His voice screamed in her head.  
  
It had come from behind the closed metal doors to the medlab.  
  
"Mmm..." Leila whispered, putting her hands to her head and tumbling to her knees. She dropped the dial as she fell. It went crashing and thundering to the ground. All the sounds in her head, it created so many vibrations, the noise was pounding. How could she have been so stupid? Nothing had changed.  
  
This was almost how it had felt back at home. She had made the throbbing ease up before. How had she done it? She couldn't remember.  
Everything had gone black... and she had woken up in her daddy's arms.  
  
She missed her daddy. He wasn't here to help her now and it felt like reality was melting away. Pretty soon there would be nothing left but pounding echoes. Jean's footsteps on the tile, the snores and wheezes in the bedrooms, the hollow voices from within the med-labs, even the distant crickets were betraying her. She felt dizzy and wanted to scream.  
  
Suddenly it all stopped.  
  
Leila took her breath in small slow gasps. She looked up at Jean who was holding the girl's dial in one hand. The other hand was on her hip.  
  
"Our own Little Miss Earthshaker. You need to be more careful until we have a chance to work with you on controlling your powers Leila." Her forehead scrunched in a worried look for the little girl. "Are you alright?"  
  
Leila nodded she was fine.  
  
"You really shake things up." Jean said staring at the floor underneath the girl.  
  
Leila looked down and saw that the tiles underneath her were cracked and disheveled. It was as if something had smashed them from the inside out. They looked like vibrations, like a little earthquake, had smashed them.  
  
"Did I do that?" She gasped, taking the dial from Jean's outstretched hand. She pushed it so far to the right that she could barely hear herself breath.  
  
"~Come on sweetie, let's get you back to the lab.~" Jean said both physically and psychically.  
  
"Ok... but I almost forgot. That person who was hurt? The one who helped me against... well, he woke up..." Leila started, whispering really fast. "I could hear Kurt, he yelled, well not yell; he talked but it sounded like yelling, course you blinking sounded like your eyelashes were yelling... but... I..." Leila trailed off looking down at her feet.  
  
"Logan's awake?" Jean started with relief. She quickly frowned. "Why does that worry you?"  
  
"He's gonna be mad at me..." Leila whispered, pretending to find something really interesting on her shoe.  
  
"Honey." Jean said kneeling down. "Why would you think a thing like that?"  
  
"Because it's all my fault that he got hurt. Everything's my fault."  
  
Jean brushed a stray blonde bang from the girls' eyes. "He won't be mad Leila. I promise. Let's just go talk to him ok? Then we can get some sleep. You've had a really big day."  
  
The girl said nothing, but reluctantly followed behind Jean Grey as she stepped lightly back towards the med labs.  
  
*************************  
  
The big metal doors opened wide to swallow her up as Leila stepped inside.  
  
Her big green eyes were brimming with tears as she looked up to see Jean give Logan a huge smile.  
  
But he looked straight at her.  
  
She hung her head. The tears rolling freely down her cheeks to the cold floor.  
  
He walked over to her.  
  
"I'm sorry!" She blurted, still looking down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to run away. I didn't mean to run into HER! I didn't mean for you to get hurt! I didn't mean to make everyone so mad! I didn't mean any of it! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" She gasped and cried and held her head.  
  
Logan bent down on both knees. He lowered himself down far enough to have to look up to meet her gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I..." the little girl stopped when she looked into his eyes.  
  
There was no anger in them. No hurt or regret or hatred or pain. Nothing of what Leila had seen in that woman's eyes. The one that had hurt them. No pain like she'd seen in her parents eyes, or the hurt she'd seen in Kurt's. No... Logan... his eyes were beautiful.  
  
Leila gasped, her mouth suck at an "O". Her arms fell to her sides. She stared at his eyes.  
  
Logan went to say something but...  
  
The girl collapsed into him.  
  
Hugging tight. Clinging to his neck, feeling his shirt pull and his scratchy skin on her forehead.  
  
She sobbed into him, letting go of all the pent up emotion she had been feeling for the past two and a half days. Ever since her powers had manifested. Ever since the whole world had started hating her. Not knowing if her parents hated her too. Not knowing what she had done wrong. Feeling lost and all alone, yet never alone. How could she be with everyone screaming in her head?  
  
She hugged him tight. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispered.  
  
"I know." Logan hugged her back. He closed his perfect eyes. "Shh...It's ok."  
  
Leila fell asleep in the arms of the man who had saved her.  
  
Sure it hadn't been Logan who had gotten her away from that Lady or the mob around her house. But when she had looked into his eyes she could see that he was really just like her.  
  
He knew what it was like to be afraid, to be lost completely, to not know why people were mad at you, to not know why they HATED you, or how you could make it all ok again. He also knew that things could get better, that she was safe here, he felt safe here; he felt that this was his home. She could have a home here too. No one would be mad at her now.  
  
She had seen it all in his eyes. They were such old eyes. They would have had to be to have learned so much.  
  
*******************  
  
Logan closed the door to the girl's soundproof room in the medlab. She had fallen asleep on the bed inside the second he had laid her down. Her auditory modifiers were on a little table by the side of the bed.  
  
"As entertaining as this has been..." Bobby began, getting up from his seat, "Can I go to sleep now?" He asked with big tried eyes.  
  
"I think we could all do with some sleep." Cyclops stated moving himself and his wife towards the doors.  
  
"As much as I'm inclined to agree with you, oh illustrious leader, we didn't have Logan wake up just so he could fall asleep again." Hank said, walking towards Logan as he spoke.  
  
Logan had his eyes fixed on the little girl. He wasn't even blinking.  
  
Hank stopped in front of Wolverine and bent down a little.  
  
"Are you alright Logan?"  
  
"Fine." Logan droned back still looking ahead.  
  
Hank's posture changed. He looked down at the floor covering his eyes.  
  
"I mean..." Hank shook his head. "When I think of what happened to you and Kurt and that little girl I just..." Hank paused. He seemed surprised to have to wipe a tear from his eye... he shook his head again. "Wow I must be a lot more tired then I thought!" He rubbed his eyes and moved past Logan to go back to his tables.  
  
A bit puzzled by Hank's actions, Kurt ignored it and instead asked. "Yes, Logan, that woman. Is there anything important you remember about what she did? I remember feeling an odd sensation, you remember? When Mr. Montique shot the tranquilizer dart, I was going to 'port but... I think it was that girl; the one with the dark curls and outdated designer wear... Black is really more of a winter or a fall color, and are you even listening to me?" Kurt had also made his way to where Logan was standing. He stood behind and to the right of him.  
  
"You were afraid." Logan stated, still looking at Leila through the glass.  
  
"I..." Kurt stuttered, caught off guard. "Yes, that is what I felt. Did she do a similar thing to you?"  
  
Logan looked Kurt straight in the eye.  
  
"No."  
  
Kurt began to shudder. Before he could even understand what he was doing, he BAMFed away. Not even far... but just to a corner of the med-lab. He just had to get away from Logan. He couldn't catch his breath, his heart was pounding in his chest, and he didn't know why, but before he could figure anything out he heard Scott shout.  
  
***********************  
  
"Why the Hell do I even need to be here? You figure something out and when you're not wasting my time let me know!" Cyclops yelled at his wife who was just staring at him astonished.  
  
"Scott, what are you doing?" Jean calmly asked. "All I suggested was that I stay here and try..."  
  
"Whatever!" He interrupted. "It doesn't matter! Stay! I'm gone..." Scott turned in anger to storm out into the hallway, but Bobby was standing, blocking him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing Drake! Get out of my way!"  
  
Bobby just smiled.  
  
"Now!"  
  
"You have no idea how special you are to me!" Bobby started. "You are all so special!" He looked around the room. Bobby went to try and give Scott a huge bear hug.  
  
Scott growled trying to get away.  
  
Jean just stood there in the middle of the medlab and pinched herself. 'This has to be a dream...'  
  
"Is the group having a collective mental breakdown? What is going on tonight!" Jean looked over at Logan who was still staring towards the back of Leila's room. His eyes weren't focused on anything.  
  
"What did that woman do to you?" Jean tried to focus her mind back into his, but found that it was spread all around the room.  
  
"That's ... different."  
  
Jean looked around her. Bobby had now successfully trapped a cussing Cyclops in the crushing-est hug she had ever seen. To keep from falling to the ground Scott was bashing Iceman in the shoulder. Kurt could be seen in the corner he had BAMFed into and was in the fetal position rocking back and forth. Hank was now crying hysterically at the medlab tables. Leila was sleeping peacefully a smile on her face.  
  
Jean looked back at Logan and walked briskly over. "You don't mind me diving deep into your subconscious and messing everything up right?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Ok... good." Jean sighed, her breath catching in her throat as she felt her own powers overwhelm her more normal human senses. "I mean... it's not like that hasn't happened before..."  
  
She gave him a weak smile of encouragement to which he never even noticed.  
  
She focused her mind and watched as everything went black and turned to flames.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Translation: * "I'm so glad you're awake!" 


	13. Share

Share  
  
Bobby backed off of Scott and sat dumbfounded back in his adopted chair. He rubbed his shoulder. Scott, meanwhile, took his hand, which was uncomfortably close to ripping off his sunglasses, and tucked in his shirttails instead.  
  
Kurt and Hank finally came out of their hysterics and looked around.  
  
Logan took a deep breath.  
  
"Are we out of the loony bin now?" Bobby asked no one in particular.  
  
"You tell me!" Jean exclaimed, sitting down on a medical bed, exhausted.  
  
"What happened to us?" Scott asked, crossing his arms, his mouth hanging in an expression of shock. "I seriously wanted to hurt Bobby."  
  
"Yes. What did happen?" Hank asked.  
  
"Logan happened. Or at least what that mutant did to him." Jean answered.  
  
Logan looked over at Jean, still taking slow deep breaths. Everyone else looked puzzled.  
  
"She steals emotion!" Jean tried to explain. "Well, she actually usually borrows it. But this time she stole, from Logan, something that she didn't think she could ever do again, probably because it killed whoever she had previously tried it on... But our durable little Logan."  
  
"Survived." Hank stated, trying to understand.  
  
"Obviously." Logan snapped, closing his eyes.  
  
"Right, so what happened to us?" Scott tried again.  
  
"Well," Bobby began sarcastically. "It's obvious, isn't it Cyclops! I mean something undoubtedly weird happened to us, as things always tend to do in our overly twisted and complicated lives."  
  
"Was that a joke?"  
  
"It was supposed to be. Give me a break, I'm still trying to get happy thoughts out of my head." Bobby complained.  
  
"Well, actually, they're more or less, loving thoughts..." Jean explained.  
  
Bobby just stared at her.  
  
Scott sighed. "Ok... I'm gonna try again... what happened to us?"  
  
"Ok, I think I can explain this..." Jean began. "When Logan woke up, because of what that mutant did to him, he started... shedding emotions. Each of you received one until there were no more left inside of him."  
  
"Which explains momentary robot boy." Bobby commented thinking of when Hank had been talking to Logan earlier.  
  
"Next time Logan, don't share." Bobby continued, holding his head.  
  
Logan just glared at him.  
  
"So we all felt Logan's emotions? I didn't think you had that much sorrow inside of you." Hank said, more to himself then to anyone else.  
  
Logan didn't answer.  
  
Jean continued, hoping she was making sense. "In a way... it was more like you absorbed a certain emotion and then were only able to feel that single one. Not in any way that Logan would react, but more of how you would react to getting that emotion naturally."  
  
"The sad part is, I'm sure that I'm the only person who's not getting what you're saying..." Bobby commented.  
  
"Well, let me put it another way. You received, well I guess, love, Hank absorbed grief and sadness, Kurt I think was fear, and Scott, um obviously, anger, and little Leila absorbed Logan's happiness, his contentment, which was just what she needed about now." Jean looked over to the sleeping girl. "And I didn't get pulled into any unwanted emotion, so thank you psychic powers. I was able to reabsorb all the stray emotions and pull them back inside of Logan, right where they belong. And while I'm sure our little bout with sleep deprivation tonight isn't helping, you might all feel a little bit of residual emotion, at least until Logan gains back ALL of his feelings."  
  
"There are some still missing?" Hank exclaimed.  
  
"Just one..." Jean lowered her head.  
  
"The one I don't want." Logan said bluntly.  
  
They all looked at him.  
  
"It's the one she has, the one she stole." He continued.  
  
"Which one is that?" Scott ventured to ask.  
  
Logan gave a small sad smile.  
  
"My merciless, uncontrollable, bloodthirsty, berserker rage."  
  
"Oh, well that's healthy." Bobby quipped.  
  
"It's not funny Bobby." Kurt spoke up for the first time. "She's dangerous."  
  
Scott moved to the center of the room. "You're right. She is, and she needs to be stopped, now." He had made up his mind.  
  
"So go stop her." Logan grumbled, turning to leave.  
  
Scott looked at Logan in disbelief.  
  
"Wait, Logan... You have to help." Scott went after him, got ahead of him and forced him to stop.  
  
"Kurt's right... and you know better then anyone what your rage can do." Scott said getting into Logan's face.  
  
"Scott, calm down, you're still not acting like yourself." Jean stated trying to diffuse the situation.  
  
Scott realized his posture and backed off a bit, but his voice was almost threatening when he talked again. "You should help us find her, you're the only one who's seen her clearly."  
  
Logan looked into Scott's eyes. "I'm tired." He said slowly. Then, walking past Cyclops, who barely restrained himself from pushing Logan back, he walked out of the med lab, down the hallways of the school, and out the front door. He heard Jean's voice behind him, telling Cyclops to let him go.  
  
Scott may have let him go but...

* * *

Logan walked across the front of the X-Mansion, heading towards the garage. He noticed the wind and the cold of the pre-dawn hours, but ignored them. He felt the cold wet dew on the blades of grass soaking the bottoms of his pant legs, and ignored that too. Then he sensed something else.  
  
He stopped.  
  
"I remember my name." He started slowly. "It's James. I know that mutants, psychics and telepaths, people who are just trying to mess with my mind, they've told me it before. But... now... I remember it. I remember someone calling out to me, and that was the name they used, because that was the name that was really mine." He sighed.  
  
"I don't want to lose that."  
  
"You're scared." Kurt answered, coming back from out of the shadows that hid him so well.  
  
Logan snorted a laugh in response.  
  
"It's not an insult, or a threat Logan. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. You're scared. And I felt it." Kurt walked up to stand by his friend. "I felt it all so you can't hide it from me. I know you're scared. Afraid to lose the clarity you are just discovering, afraid to get your rage back. You hate the taste it leaves in the back of your throat. The way you act when it's upon you... it shames you... its what you most fear... es tu ich leid." Kurt had tears in his eyes, for the first time he really understood what it was like for his friend.  
  
Logan took a deep breath and started walking towards the garage again.  
  
Kurt shook his head. "But you're the only one who can handle it Logan!" He cried out, trying to get his friend to understand.  
  
Logan stopped again.  
  
"I know you fear it..." Kurt began again, choosing his words slowly and carefully. "But imagine, imagine that power in the hands of a dangerous immoral mutant and you know what the result will be!"  
  
"Sabretooth." Logan whispered.  
  
"Yes! Sabretooth... do you want to be responsible for letting another Sabretooth loose in this world? You and I both know how that would end. I know you want this woman stopped."  
  
Logan shook his head. He said nothing.  
  
Kurt tried a different approach.  
  
"You are not an animal Logan. You get your rage back, you may not be James, but you will still be Logan. And Logan is a noble and an honorable man."  
  
No answer.  
  
"Just think of it, really, for the most part... when does this rage take a hold of you? When your moral barometer is off kilter. When you see innocent girls like Leila in mortal danger, or when you see the horrible atrocities that humans and mutants alike are capable of. I know it shames you Logan. You don't like not being in control. It's what those "people," and I use the term loosely, did to you. What they made you do."  
  
"Shut up Elf."  
  
"No... but you should see, that the rage that should be inside of you, let's you know, is a part, it's what makes you most human, whether you understand that or not..." Kurt sighed. He wasn't saying this right. "You remember Logan, at the bar, the mutant one, after that girl... Lucy... after Lucy died, I told you then, someone with your kind of power, and no control, no right and wrong, they would have to be stopped; Even if that person turns out to be you one day..."  
  
"Kurt."  
  
"Well this girl has no right or wrong Logan, and innocent people could die, people like Leila, or like Lucy, or... She has to be stopped." Kurt lowered his head. He hated to think that a soul could not be saved, but his memories of the woman with glowing green eyes and a gun to Leila's head made his heart cry.  
  
"Yeah... well where do you think I was headed blue boy?" Logan turned around, a smirk on his face.  
  
Kurt's posture changed, he relaxed.  
  
"I had assumed to a bar." He smiled.  
  
"Well, yeah, about five minutes ago... but since you had the guts to go all Rikki Lake on me... it was to the Montique's. I'll see if I can pick up her scent."  
  
Kurt's smile grew. "I will tell Scott." He paused. "You know Logan, your emotions made him very... ornery."  
  
Logan laughed.  
  
Kurt went to BAMF.  
  
"Wait Kurt..."  
  
"Yes Logan?" Kurt asked, expecting a joke.  
  
"Never mind... we're not going."  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, already feeling that residual fear Jean had been talking about.  
  
"Her scent..."  
  
"Ja?"  
  
"It's all over... she's already been out here."  
  
"Wha... what do you mean?" Kurt's body tensed.  
  
Snikt!  
  
"She's in the mansion."

* * *

.

.

.  
  
Translation: I'm so sorry.


	14. Nightmare Lullaby

Thank you so much to Jubes and Ruthanne for the reviews!  
  
************Nightmare Lullaby***************  
  
The marble floor was cold and smooth. It had been created less than a century ago, but still seemed vast and ageless, constant and reliable. Everlasting, forever and ever.  
  
Callie smiled as the tips of her toes and the bottom of her heels emanated energy enough to smolder the tops of the marble. It was still there, underneath, constant and reliable, but changed now, never to be the same again.  
  
'Like me.' Callie rolled the thought around in her head. She dropped the shoes she had been wearing with a small "clack" to the ground.  
  
'Subtle, have to be subtle.' She chided herself halfheartedly. 'Can't get caught now when you're so close.'  
  
She walked down the corridor, singeing titles as she went. Felling the pull of emotion deep down in her chest.  
  
Suffocating her.  
  
For any outsider to have seen her, Callie would have been deemed just another normal mutant, a student even, maybe one with a small case of insomnia. On the inside, Callie was on fire...  
  
Burning Down.  
  
She didn't feel right, which was just... weird, because Callie didn't feel... at all... at least she never used to, not when she didn't want to.  
  
Right now...  
  
Callie didn't want to.  
  
Callie laughed the thought out of her head and walked a little faster, though it seemed as if her legs were fighting her the entire way, dragging her down.  
  
Something had happened since she had left that house with the blood on its walls and windowpanes. She didn't feel the same.  
  
'You don't feel!' Her thoughts ran into each other.  
  
Callie laughed louder and stopped herself, clasping her hands over her mouth.  
  
She moved an index finger in front of her lips. "Shh..." She sighed, closing her eyes.  
  
She still felt charged with unrelenting power, she still felt amazing, but something was bad and different.  
  
This emotion inside of her, it was just too much. Callie still felt indestructible, but she also felt powerless to stop what this rage was doing to her.  
  
Things flipped over and crashed in waves inside her head. Nothing was making sense and her mind yelled in protest in an effort to preserve its fragile state, but the rage SCREAMED back; it wanted its master, and Callie certainly wasn't him.  
  
Callie knew she wasn't.  
  
"What's the first thing you do in a high risk situation Sweetheart? How do you increase your opponent's fear so you can located, blind-side, and defeat them? How do you win the game?"  
  
Her boss' voice reverberated inside of her head. He had said it years ago; when he was still training her. Callie continued her journey to the back of the mansion where she knew the main power generators to be.  
  
"Turn off all the lights." Callie shuffled slowly now, arms rigid at her sides. "Then say boo."  
  
At least she still had the power to do that.  
  
She'd figure everything else out when she met up with that man finally.  
  
The rage inside of her screamed again, to be with HIM, rattled its cage. Callie held her ribs, her eyes glowing softer. 'I wanna be the master... I wanna be the boss.' She thought.  
  
"I wanna win the game." She whispered as a fog escaped her mouth.  
  
She continued towards the power box, taking deep uneven breaths, her feet now scorching the tiles beneath them, some of the stone cracking and breaking. Broken... just like her.  
  
Callie started smiling again, totally denying the fact that what she truly felt, deep and hidden in her heart, wasn't rage, it wasn't hate, it wasn't even anger or a need for power and destruction.  
  
What Callie felt...  
  
What Callie really felt...  
  
was fear...  
  
*************  
  
Jean slowly lifted her head. It still felt heavy from tapping into the Phoenix Force to restore Logan's emotions. The no sleep aspect wasn't helping anything either, but she felt a little better.  
  
At least Scott had calmed down. In fact, he was back to normal. Normal stoic Scott, going over different plans with Hank and a sleeping Bobby, about how to stop this woman. They would be leaving within the hour.  
  
Jean felt something pull at the back of her mind; She ignored it, too tired to care about what her powers were trying to warn her of.  
  
She glanced over at Leila, who had slept through everything that had happened between Logan and Scott.  
The girl was still and peaceful. Jean smiled at the thought of the worst being behind her. All Leila had to focus on now, was what could be the most important and the most exciting point of her life as a mutant. Learning how to control her powers.  
  
Jean thought of all the different controlled scenarios that she could introduce to Leila, to see what the full extent of her powers were and to...  
  
The thing that had been pulling on the back of Jean's mind... Yanked down hard..  
  
Jean furrowed her brow.  
  
"Scott." She tried talking. It came out tired and quiet.  
  
"Scott!" She shouted clear and strong.  
  
He stopped talking and turned around to look at her where she sat on the medical bed that had previously held Logan.  
  
"What's wrong!?" He asked, genuinely concerned.  
  
"I..." she started. " I think..."  
  
BAMF!  
  
Shocked at Kurt's entrance, the group jumped.  
  
"Sorry," Kurt started. He looked around the room, and his gaze locked with Jean's.  
  
"She's here! In the mansion..." He looked at her.  
  
"What do you mean? Who's..." Scott started, and then it dawned on him. "No... how did she...?"  
  
"She's a thief, so... I don't know. But Logan, he's going after her." Kurt continued.  
  
"No!" Jean burst out, without really knowing why. "I mean, I don't think it's a very good idea. I don't think Logan should be anywhere near that woman." She continued, quietly now.  
  
"Jean..." Scott looked at her, puzzled. "We have to stop this now. It's already gotten out of hand." He moved towards the medlab doors.  
  
"Wait, Scott! Something else is wrong... it's happening right now... I can feel it."  
  
Scott stopped to look at his wife.  
  
Jean went to speak again when all of the lights blinked off and the room was plunged into total darkness.  
  
Jean gasped.  
  
***************  
  
Callie had left the smoldering waste that had been the mansion's power generator far behind, and now moved to where she had felt a new surge of fear... there were people awake and she could find them now.  
  
~Nothing like a fear of dark places...~  
  
Callie walked slowly through the hallways. There were a lot of people around her... poor little dreaming children who... they might...  
  
Callie couldn't think and she couldn't concentrate. The rage inside of her wanted more power to fuel itself, but she had run out a long time ago.  
  
She had to get more.  
  
Callie stopped in the middle of the hallway and slumped to her knees. The glowing in her eyes and skin turned to fog. She was running out of time.  
  
'No, I'm so close. Don't go back to him! Don't leave me...' she frantically thought, holding her head.  
  
I can't feel this way again!  
Helpless...  
  
I won't!  
Feel nothing anymore...  
  
Her head lifted as her eyes glowed bright again. The fog disappeared. Callie surged all of her remaining energy and drew her powers out as far as they could reach.  
  
Unfortunately, the only people she could reach were the students all asleep in their dorms.  
  
She felt their subconscious minds freeze, felt connected to their dreams, and turned them all to nightmares.  
  
She had never known she could do that before.  
  
Trapped in their dreams, memories no longer made sense and the children could make up their own worst fears, things that could never really exist but seemed so real on that other side of their brains.  
  
A Nightmare Lullaby.  
  
Callie's head sank into her hands. Pure terror transmitted into raw energy and Callie absorbed it to fuel the rage... so it wouldn't leave.  
  
As the rage came back, grew stronger, Callie grew stronger, and as Callie grew stronger so did her powers, and soon every single one of the sleeping student body was tossing and turning, trapped in their very worst nightmare.  
  
Callie lifted her head, sparks now flew from her eyes, she looked down at her hands, which besides from faintly glowing with the rest of her body, had blood on them.  
  
Nosebleed?  
  
'Small price to pay.' She thought, wiping her hands on the hard marble floor. She stood up.  
  
All again...  
  
The rage was hers, her body was hers, her powers were hers...  
  
She was ready... and pretty soon...  
  
Everything would be hers...  
  
************************************************************************ 


	15. PsychoAnalysis

Hi! I am soo sorry that I haven't updated my story in so long. Graduation took forever! I'm so excited that high school is over... wow! But I finally am back to my story! Which is exciting too... anyway... heh... onto the turmoil and angsty –goodness... I swear this story turned into a soap opera... oh well I still like it (lol) enjoy!  
Miko  
  
---- Chapter 15----- Psycho-analysis  
  
Scott Summers' mind reeled as he adjusted to the dramatic change of light. His eyes, emanating their usual red glow, helped things along. The yellow hue created by the ruby quartz lens never much let things get too dark. Shapes had almost come into focus when he heard his wife call out.  
  
"Scott?" She was somewhere in front and to the left, but too far for him to see.  
  
"I'm fine." He called back.  
  
"The back-up generators should kick on in a minute." Hank proclaimed. "This is a MEDICAL lab after all."  
  
"Great, so if that mutant didn't know where we were before, she can just follow the big flashy medical lights." Bobby muttered.  
  
"Weren't you asleep?" Henry answered back.  
  
"She doesn't need the lights." Jean's voice resounded off the concrete walls.  
  
Scott stood, still not knowing where Jean exactly was, but the tone in her voice had him worried. He was about to take his first step when he heard fast footfalls and the thunk of a hand against glass.  
  
"Leila...what is the matter with her?" Scott could hear Kurt's voice. He must have run up to the girl's glass house. With Kurt's exceptional eyes he reported that she was twisting around on her bed.  
  
"She's having a nightmare." Jean answered, sounding more tired then before. "Everyone is..."  
  
Scott heard a thud, like something had fallen to the ground.  
  
"Jean!" He heard Kurt cry.  
  
"What's the matter? What happened?" Scott called, taking a few blind steps towards Kurt's voice. "Damnit Hank, get that generator going!" Scott yelled as his foot clipped something on the floor.  
  
"It's automatic." Henry shouted in defense.  
  
"She fainted." Kurt finally answered. "I moved her to a bed."  
  
"Where are you?" Scott continued walking, cautiously.  
  
"I'm..." Nightcrawler began.  
  
The generator lights finally flickered on. They weren't as powerful as the mainframe, but Scott could see.  
  
He ran to Jean.  
  
"Jean?" he held her hand and touched her cheek.  
  
She gasped awake and sat straight up, holding her head.  
  
"Oh god! What is she doing?" Jean panted.  
  
"Honey?" Scott said from behind her, still holding her hand.  
  
"Oh Scott!" She spun around. "She... she's, there's no time. Take Henry and wake up as many of the children as you possibly can! Tell them to stay in their rooms... and stay quiet!" She squeezed his hand. "Go!"  
  
Scott didn't argue. He didn't like not understanding all of the details, but when Jean used that tone, he knew to listen.  
  
"Beast you're with me." he barked and moved towards the lab doors.  
  
"Scott!" Jean cried as an afterthought. "Whatever you do, don't draw attention to yourself. And don't hurt her, or you'll harm the students!"  
  
Scott nodded and the two were out the door.  
  
Jean sighed and tried to relax. Suddenly she shot back up. "Leila! Oh Bobby, please wake her up!"  
  
Bobby ran up to the glass to find Leila still thrashing and yelling out in her sleep, though he couldn't hear it.  
  
"Why doesn't she wake up?" He asked.  
  
"Just do the waking FOR her Bobby. The longer she's asleep the stronger Callie gets!"  
  
Bobby moved to open the door.  
  
"Callie... is that her name?" Kurt asked with a cheerless expression on his face.  
  
"Yes, but Kurt, she's not what you think..."  
  
Bobby opened the door to the little glass room and went in to gently shake Leila awake. At the slightest touch she bolted straight up with tears streaming, she grabbed a hold of Bobby. Then she let go just as quickly and held both of her ears. Bobby remembered the auditory modifiers on the table and reached over to help Leila put them in.  
  
"Callie..." Jean continued. "She's using the children to boost her power levels so she can keep control of Logan's rage."  
  
"And that's not exactly what I would think of her?" Kurt sighed.  
  
"No, Kurt, the rage, it's eating her up inside, she doesn't understand it. She's gone almost completely insane."  
  
Kurt looked at Jean... then past her.  
  
Jean turned around.  
  
"Hey, come on now! That's not fair, we just met! You're not allowed to deem me clinically insane until at least the third date." Callie smiled, glowing from the doorframe.  
  
Jean swore under her breath.

* * *

Logan had followed Callie's scent around the side of the mansion and through the ground floor window. He had tracked her half way through the main corridor... and then kinda gave up.  
  
The tiles were singed for God's sake. It was like she wanted to be found.  
  
Or maybe IT does...  
  
But Logan didn't want to think of his rage as a living thing. That was way too disturbing. It was also much too accurate at times.  
  
Logan shook his head clear and followed the breadcrumb trail. That was when the lights went out. He continued on once his eyes adjusted until he found blood spilled on the floor.  
  
It was hers.  
  
He continued on faster now, until he heard yells and whimpers from the students in their rooms. Something else had gone wrong.  
  
This lady was seriously beginning to piss him off. The anger boiled up. It wasn't rage, he wasn't about to lose control of it, but it killed Logan to know that what was happening was because of him.  
  
Because of his emotion.  
  
She couldn't handle it and people could get hurt... his fault... somehow.  
  
The rage that he'd lost was harsh and brutal and cruel, but it was his, and in the end it always would be. Right now he had to fight to get it back, maybe even kill... to get the rage that he hated... back.  
  
Sometimes, Logan hated his life.

* * *

Jean stood up from the medical bed.  
  
"Callie." Jean sighed, looking up into the other mutant's eyes. "You don't have to do this."  
  
Callie smiled.  
  
Bobby moved from Leila's side. The temperature in the room began to drop.  
  
Bobby don't hurt her. Jean reminded Bobby psychically (Callie didn't need to know that.)  
  
Bobby settled for standing in front of Leila, protecting her, letting the temperature return to normal.  
  
Callie's skin cracked with energy. She giggled.  
  
"This is the best part though." She walked closer to Jean. A green mist started to pour off of her. "He doesn't happen to be in here does he? It wouldn't be THAT simple, would it?"  
  
"Nothing in your life is simple Callie." Jean stated, trying to avoid the mist.  
  
Callie stopped and looked at her through glowing green eyes.  
  
"What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?"  
  
"Well, today's your birthday, it's just an interesting way to spend it."  
  
Callie's eyes narrowed.  
  
Jean could feel Callie trying to probe her mind, affect her emotions. Jean shrugged it off and realized something. Callie wasn't psychic, as Jean had originally thought, rather Callie dealt with primal things, the things before thought and speech and internal dialogue had evolved. She dealt with pictures and raw emotions. That sounded very painful to Jean, and cruel. She couldn't imagine having to put up with that, and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the girl.  
  
"You know what?" Callie started, once she realized her powers didn't affect Jean. "I don't like you." Callie hands started glowing green.  
  
Jean heard Leila gasp.  
  
Callie's head snapped in the girl's direction. "Chicklet." When her attention changed to Leila, the green mist concentrated itself on the girl... it was as if the mist was an extension of Callie's out of control powers. It started wrapping around the little blonde girl, actually avoiding Bobby, causing Leila to hyperventilate.  
  
Bobby registered the mutant's attack and charged towards Callie despite Jean's warnings.  
  
Callie held out her hand. "STOP!" she shouted.  
  
Bobby stopped in his tracks as if he'd run into a brick wall, and Callie slid across the floor like she had been physically pushed back.  
  
"That other bitch may be able to resist my charms... but you're a good boy aren't you?" Callie seethed.  
  
Jean turned to realize that Kurt was no longer at her side. She smelled sulfur in the air. Nightcrawler had BAMFed behind Callie and grabbed a hold.  
  
"You can't stop, can you." He understood with determined eyes.  
  
"Get off!" Callie screamed, losing her breath. She screamed again and the green mist permeated throughout the entire room. "On the ground!" She shouted. "Now!"  
  
Kurt fell to the ground.  
  
Then Bobby fell as well.  
  
Callie's breath was lost again, it came back shallow and harsh, but when she looked up at Jean her smile was beaming, her eyes slits.  
  
"You think you're better then me because I can't get inside your head?" Callie moved towards Jean, balling her glowing hands into fists. "I'm gonna win and you can't stop me!"  
  
Realization glowed in Jean's eyes.  
  
"You're scared..."She barely whispered, lowering her hands to stare at Callie. "So am I."  
  
Callie stopped. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
The green mist, though thick like fog around the medlab, disappeared around Jean.  
  
"You're afraid of what this rage is doing to you. You fell lost Callie... but I can help you... just let go."  
  
Callie looked at Jean like she had just suggested she should join the National Inquirer... it made NO sense to her. "You let go. I don't know what you think, but I love the way I feel... and my birthday, it's been the best one ever." Callie's nose started to bleed... she ignored it.  
  
"Please Callie, what you're feeling isn't yours. It's killing you!"  
  
Callie shook her head and forced a smile. "I was dead already! Just shut up." Callie's eyes wavered. "Why do you get to know how I feel when I can't even... tell..." She looked away from Jean.  
  
"You ARE scared." Jean put her hands in front of her. "You have been... for a long time... haven't you? Afraid to open up, ever since..."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Callie shouted, a nerve hit without her knowing why. Her eyes glowing a harsher green, Kurt and Bobby squirmed from the floor.  
  
"Oh Callie... Your parents never meant to hurt you like that... I'm so sorr..." Jean started.  
  
"Stop!" Callie raged through gritted teeth. "You don't... know me." Callie couldn't understand what was happening. This woman should just shut up and fall to the ground... instead she was playing psychiatrist... and not very well either... psychiatrists.... they would never act like this... Callie should know after all... "You can't help me, so just stop playing memory lane. No one can help me... people have tried... they all just... die... in the end."  
  
"Your boss never helped you Callie, he just made things worse. He used you."  
  
"At least he paid attention..." Tears streamed down the raven-haired girl's face. Callie touched the tears with a finger, like it had never happened before.  
  
"The emptiness you feel inside isn't a part of your mutation Callie." Jean said in a hurry, before Callie could get defensive again. "It's for protection. It's easier to feel numb inside then to feel pain. But I can help you. I can give you the truth... truth where you've only heard lies... Lies about your parents, lies about your pain... it's not ALL you have to feel Callie. Stop this now... and you'll have a fresh start. Everything can be different... and...we..." Jean stopped as Callie's posture changed.  
  
Her eyes focused on Jean's. The tears stopped.  
  
"Your psychic powers are really strong. You had me, I admit. I actually thought you were sincere... pathetic and sappy, but sincere." Callie smiled. "But here you were, just trying to stall me long enough for the rest of your little mutant squad to drain my power. Waking up those horrible children." Callie lowered her head. "You think I feel empty inside?" Callie's smile broadened. "I feel whatever I want to feel."  
  
"It isn't yours..." Jean whispered.  
  
"It will be!" Callie swung a punch at Jean who was catapulted across the room and smashed into the concrete wall opposite the medlab doors. She fell to the floor... where she stayed.  
  
"Good girl." Callie said in a kind of shock. She walked slowly over to the fallen X-Man and crushed one of her fingers under a boot. Pressing down she realized that the woman had fallen unconscious. Callie pressed harder but the redhead's body simply breathed steadily in and out. Callie took a sharp breath.  
  
She had noticed something else. She could see a glint of metal shining off the swollen emergency lights and gleaming off the glass she had caused to crash on the floor. She held her breath.  
  
"So..." Callie started, digging harder with her boot still on Jean's hand. She heard the figure behind her stop, realizing she had noticed him. Callie spun her heel on Jean's fingers, hearing the bones snap. She felt his anger rise and walked towards the man she'd been waiting for.  
  
"Logan right?" She asked him, her face hidden in the poor light of the medlab.  
  
"You break anything else in her... I snap your neck." Logan glared into the shadows...  
  
Callie lifted her face out of the darkness to where Logan could see her clearly. Blood was streaming from her eyes and met with the blood already from her nose. She gasped for air.  
  
The green fog rolled in thicker then before.  
  
There were tears mixed with the blood.  
  
"Promise?"

* * *


	16. A Deserving Monster

Hi again! Yay I updated within a reasonable fashion! It's just a short little chapter but it'll do... maybe I'll consolidate it with the next chapter once I get a chance to type that one up... wow I'm I thinking outloud... why would you even want to know that? lol, well moving on I wanted to mention the amazingly sweet reviews that SxHxC and DarkAngel gave me. I hope the rest of my story lives up to any expectations... You guys are just great for my self-esteem... oh and for my motivation factor too... I've actually finished this entire story out on paper... all that's left is the typing and re-writing to incorporate random moments of inspiration that seem to always happen when I transfer stories over from paper to computer- land... lol anyway enjoy and thanks again!

Miko  
  
Chapter 16 --------------- A Deserving Monster -----------------  
  
The anger burning in his chest began to give way to shock as the mutant in front of him had practically admitted to wanting to die. Her breath came faster as he looked her in the face, then down at Jean who had started to stir. The claws that he had held extended ever since first realizing that the girl had been in the med labs retracted back with a SNAKT.  
  
He had heard Jean call her something... Callie? Yes... Callie now took shallow rapid breaths and stepped closer to him. He backed off instinctively, the green mist in the air making him weary. She started to fall. Logan caught her in his arms. A frown still on his face he saw her look up at him. She seemed to realize her position and brought her hands up to each of Logan's shoulders to try and push herself up off of him. Logan looked back down at Jean to see if she was still ok.  
  
"Logan?" The black-haired girl he now knew to be Callie, whispered. He held her closer preventing her from falling. She placed her hands from his shoulders, up to each side of his neck for support.  
  
He looked her in the eyes. He watched them go from blue to a fuzzy green, and he watched her face go from one of hurt-filled sorrow and helplessness, to the brutal visage he remembered all to clearly back at the Montique mansion.  
  
"Damnit." He cursed trying to push her away.  
  
"You're even dumber then you look." She smiled, still holding onto his neck. With such close contact, when Callie let go of one of her energy blasts, Logan felt like he'd been hit with a truck and with a lightning bolt all at once. An unwanted scream passed through his lips, and he cursed himself for giving her the satisfaction.  
  
"Get off me!" He shoved her hard and she fell next to Jean. She rocked back on her hands and laughed as blood still streamed from her face.  
  
Logan growled and went to grab her up again.  
  
"Stop!" Callie put her hands up in front of her face. Logan felt another blast go through him and he felt his body slam to the ground. He climbed to his feet.  
  
Snikt!  
  
"Logan don't!" He heard Jean cry. She was trying to move away from Callie who had risen to her feet. He looked down at her and the back to the woman who was smiling ear-to-ear.  
  
"She's using the sleeping children to power herself. Any real damage to her and there's no telling what will happen." Jean exclaimed out loud, any pretense abandoned.  
  
Logan looked at her. Exasperated he housed his claws. "Hell Jean," he paused, annoyed. "Can I knock her out?"  
  
"I don't know, she's very unstable." Jean cried quickly as Callie trudged her way over to the redhead. "There you go again." Callie teased, pulling Jean up by the hair. "I'm standing right here in the room you know."  
  
"Callie let me go!" Jean yelled. Callie glanced at Logan, then, grabbing Jean close, started whispering frantically into her ear. "No! Hmmm, he likes you, can't you feel it." Callie squeezed Jean closer to her, the inside of her elbow hooked around Jean's neck. "He loves you." She stated with disgust. "Why should a monster who has an emotion like the one I stole away be able to have THAT feeling. Love. He doesn't deserve it." She screamed the last few words into Jean's ear and let go of another energy blast. Jean screamed and Callie let her drop to the floor.  
  
"You do Callie." Jean stated, holding up a hand to stop Logan from ending the woman's life then and there. The pain was evident in her voice. "You deserve love. You're not a monster Callie, stop acting like one."  
  
Callie put her hands at her side. Ignoring Logan she looked down at Jean, her eyes turning blue again. Jean smiled as she rose to her knees. Callie smiled back, and while she faced Jean she held her hand out to her side. Towards Logan. She smiled wider as she watched the expression on Jean's face as she let another blast rip through Wolverine.  
  
Logan rose to his feet and extended his claws once again, the metal gleaning off of the green mist. He met Jean's eye. Tears had made them red. "I'm not putting them back Jeanie." He stated, his vision traveling back to Callie's. She smiled at him.  
  
"Please... Logan." Jean spoke in a voice dripping with exhaustion and defeat, like she was just about to give up on defending Callie. "She doesn't understand. She's broken. Childhood trauma, deception about everything her powers could have been. A man... pretended to help her, after her parents' guilt and rage and emotional baggage was siphoned into her when her powers manifested. He helped her out the pain caused by her parents, but raped her of all her own feelings. He lied to her, and used her, all of her life." Jean paused, wondering how to phrase what she had gathered from Callie into words. "This is all just a _game_ to her." Jean spoke in awe as Callie's eyes started glowing green at the mention of her parents. "She's still just a_ **child**_... emotionally."  
  
"Tell HER that." Logan started, fighting to see through the fog to Callie, who had broken out into a fit of giggles.  
  
"No!" Callie shouted at this. "No more talking for you!" Callie struck Jean across the face with a glowing fist. Jean was knocked down and fell unconscious, blood pouring from her mouth. The fog lifted back to a green mist as Callie remembered the door she had ripped from her car earlier that morning. She looked down at her glowing hands with a shocked expression, like she hadn't really meant for that to happen. She looked over at Jean.  
  
"I..." she stuttered. "I'm..."  
  
"Really going to regret that." Logan finished for her.  
  
Rage or no rage, risk or no risk... she was going to pay for that.


	17. Revelation

Hi it's Miko... another short little chapter... but more is soon to come... Thanks again to DA and SxHxC and anyone else who likes my story- Notice the new summary... sappy enough for ya... lol ... anyway I'll probably change it soon but I'm just trying to attract different types of everyone to read my story... maybe it'll work- ... enjoy   
Miko  
  
Chapter 17 -------------Revelation-----------------  
  
Callie felt the rage grow inside of her, threatening to take her over.  
  
Just let go, just let it breath through you and destroy everything else. You did it before, so easily...  
  
No... I don't... want to hurt anyone else...  
  
Please let me go... but...  
  
Please don't leave.  
  
Callie's mind was frantic as her emotions tangled into each other and destroyed her thoughts as she imagined them... before she could imagine them...  
  
Callie growled as Logan rushed her. They both slammed against the concrete wall and Callie fought off dizziness as another wave of all empowering rage washed over her and any sane thoughts. Logan brought a claw up to her neck and went to strike. She felt another blast leave her and exit through him. He was blown back and she took a deep breath before filling the room with a sea of green. A hum of emerald mist filled the room, pouring off of Callie's body and drowning the room in what looked like electricity, only slower and thick.  
  
Viciousness ripped at the part of her who wanted to give up... the part that wanted to get rid of all the hate and borrowed feelings... She was losing herself, but this time she felt it, she felt the fear she hadn't known she possessed.  
  
Too little, too late.  
  
Rage kicked her insides and made her scream. She held her head, which felt like it was turning into concrete.  
  
Logan paused for a moment to try and understand what was happening. Then he recognized something, the look in her eyes... a look that he had an all too familiar relationship with.  
  
She had lost control of the rage, and there was nothing to bring her back.  
  
Outside the medlab Logan could hear a small group of students begin to scream. They must be the few that were still asleep. Their nightmares were getting out of control.  
  
So was Callie.  
  
"End of the line Sweetheart," he whispered. "Say goodnight."  
  
She just screamed at him and let loose a series of energy blasts. Tears ran down her eyes and Logan could still hear the screams of the children in the distant rooms...  
  
With each blast that landed on him, Logan felt his senses scatter... The thoughts in his mind wouldn't stay and it reminded him of how he felt back at the Montique mansion. He felt her start to search his mind and once again violate his senses and drag him to the depths of unconsciousness. He felt himself hit the ground... yet again.  
  
Callie felt the rage split her in two. Half of it wanted to return to the man, Logan, who was growling from the floor, and the other half desperately wanted to take her down with it. Callie didn't know which side to help.  
  
She felt drained by the emotional chaos fighting inside of her. She pulled energy from the last remaining few who were still asleep of her prey. There weren't enough.  
  
Logan crawled to his knees.  
  
Callie seethed. She reached out with her mind to find those close enough she could affect. Just the blue mutant and the boy... still frozen with fear on the floor by her command. She flexed her powers and felt them cringe.  
  
Logan's mind split open to her as she concentrated harder on what the rage wanted her to do.  
  
She wasn't Callie anymore; she wasn't anything but the fury, nothing but a monster. She searched desperately for more power.  
  
But the only other thing in the room was a little girl.  
  
Callie could hear the screams of the children in the dorms... the mutants on the ground were screaming too.  
  
Logan only glared at her from the floor.  
  
He would have killed if he could. But he couldn't, soon he wouldn't be able to do anything. All she needed was a bit more power.  
  
She felt herself lose a few more sleeping batteries to consciousness. She cursed... but it didn't really matter.  
  
Logan growled louder and started crawling on his hands and knees towards Callie. She looked down at him with a smile. Then she looked over at Leila. The girl had been too afraid to do anything since being awakened.  
  
Callie's smile grew as she backed towards the girl... away from Logan.  
  
All she needed was a scrap more energy... Logan fell to his chest... only his eyes were still alive.  
  
He felt choked by the mist.  
  
Callie stopped at the glass ... and peered at the girl within ... the door was ajar... but there was no need to go inside... Leila's mind was already open...  
  
Callie sifted through memories... she looked to find the young girl's worst fear... She had seen it before... something about a broken window... but it wasn't there...  
  
Leila had a greater fear now...  
  
Callie's grin broadened as the little girl sat quietly with tears streaming down her face. All it meant was more energy from a greater fear... so Callie opened the memory and...  
  
Her world fell apart.  
  
"Oh God..."  
  
A white light flashed fully throughout the room. In that split second all of the mist and humming energy vanished. In it's wake it left nothing but a dimly lit laboratory and the sounds of Callie gasping for breath between sobs.  
  
She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around her body. "Is that real?" She whispered to the darkness.  
  
She held her breath when she heard Leila start to sob. Callie looked over at the girl holding her ears. Suddenly the sobs stopped and Leila looked out past Callie and let out an ear-piercing scream pushing herself back off the bed and hitting the floor on the opposite side and smacking against the glass. The wind was knocked out of her and she was quiet while she had to suck in more air for another scream.  
  
Callie spun her head around to see what had made Leila so upset. Her back towards the floor, she was leaning with both of her hands behind her, and had to look up. Callie felt a lump rise in her throat and she started to breath hard and fast, her heart pounding. She realized she was scared out of her mind.  
  
Above her she saw Logan fully enraged with his newly reacquired feeling. Eyes wild with raw emotion, he charged her, claws gleaming.  
  



	18. Blood, Sweat, Tears, Sulfur, Death, What...

Thanks for the reviews! More soon to come!

Miko

Chapter 18 -----------Blood, Sweat, Tears, Sulfur, Death, Whatever...  
  
Callie felt her fate was imminent. She was going to die... he was going to kill her. Callie felt her power drain, she had already let go of the children, they had all woken up.  
  
No emotion was rushing into her anymore, but she still felt it... the fear mixed with pain.  
  
She didn't want this... the feeling.  
  
Pain wasn't hers, she hadn't owned it most of her life. She was a monster, just like the feeling she had released wanted her to be. Monsters didn't feel pain...  
  
She deserved to die. She saw Logan, completely consumed by the rage she had returned back into him, and put her hands to her sides.  
  
It was fitting, the rage she felt had brought her to life, to take it all away.  
  
Callie held her breath, and closed her eyes.

* * *

But the end didn't come from Logan. Rather, it threatened from a different source.  
  
The young girl, Leila, was still screaming, and where her hands were on the ground, cracks and splits occurred in the concrete floor beneath her.  
  
Spreading, they extended to the glass shell surrounding her.  
  
Her screams got louder as the cracks in the ground and the growing rumbles around the room caused the bottles on the shelves to shake and the glass house to burst outwards in shards.  
  
The glass in his face caught Logan by surprise.  
  
He clawed at it, and the pain he caused his face seemed to snap him out of his rage.  
  
Or maybe infuse it further; Callie couldn't tell, but whatever it did, Logan stopped in front of her, looking down.  
  
Claws extended, eyes glaring, and blood dripping down his face...  
  
Most people would have been consumed by fear, felt lost in terror with having the Wolverine stare them in the face, with _those_ emotions dancing across his tormented eyes.  
  
Callie's tears were openly falling now, and of course she was afraid, but she was **overwhelmed** by a different sensation...  
  
Shame.  
  
She had brought him to this... she had caused it all.  
  
The ceiling started pouring down around them.  
  
Callie noticed a boy she in the medlabs too... she had forgotten about him. To her left, she watched as he turned to ice and fought to keep the ceiling panels up.  
  
The ice he projected just cracked.  
  
Dust and pummeled debris made the room look like it was covered in a haze.  
  
The shakes just increased and it felt like there was no end.  
  
A cry from the blue mutant with the tail was the only thing that got Logan's horrible gaze away from her.  
  
Callie lowered her head and let out her breath. She hadn't known she had been holding it.

* * *

"Logan?" Kurt cried.  
  
Just as he said it a support beam from the floor above came crashing down in between Callie and Logan.  
  
Logan leapt out of the way instinctively, but Callie just let it fall, saved only by the floor splitting up beneath her, causing her to slide towards the back of the medlabs.  
  
Her back slammed into the back wall and she let herself lie where she fell even though she was still awake.  
  
Logan could tell this as he fought against himself to gain control of his emotions. The sudden snap of his rage back inside his head had caught him off guard, and he had lost control. Still not entirely sure of how had came back into control, not ever being able to know that it was the look in Callie's eyes... her willingness to show her honorable soul in feeling regret and shame, in owning up to her mistakes, that had soothed the beast within Logan.  
  
"She wants to die..." He didn't know how he knew... but it was true... he let the statement hang in the air.  
  
He housed his claws, finally coming back to his senses, feeling himself control the rage that never ceased, and he moved in her direction.  
  
He felt Kurt behind him.  
  
"Logan get out of here... I can..." Nightcrawler began.  
  
"No." Logan started, cutting Kurt off. "Jean's back here too. You find her and teleport her out. Bobby's got Leila." Logan looked back to, sure enough, see Iceman accepting his loss at keeping the ceiling stabilized, and going to grab the now unconscious form of Leila Montique.  
  
"And you've got Callie?" Kurt asked, his hand now on Logan's arm.  
  
"Yes." Wolverine answered, looking down at the gesture. "I do... I've done a lot of stupid things Elf, but I'm back inside my head. I wouldn't wish my rage to anyone; I've been losing myself to it ever since I could remember. I saw Callie go through exactly the same thing. And now she wants to die, I've been there too."  
  
Kurt lowered his head and let go of Logan's arm.  
  
"Go save Jean." Logan stated once again. "I'll go save myself."  
  
Kurt blinked and teleported away. Logan clenched his teeth, cleared his head, and charged to the back of the room.

* * *

Callie could feel the room being tortured apart. She closed her eyes to wait for a pillar to crush her or for Logan to claw her. Whatever was most convenient.  
  
Maybe this was all a bad dream... and she would wake up in the morning to her mommy making waffles and her dad ready to take her to the zoo or out for a walk in the garden... or maybe...  
  
The room filled with the smell of sulfur. Callie almost smiled as tears streamed down her face.  
  
She WAS going to die.  
  
Fire and Brimstone... it was what she deserved.  
  
"Get up." She heard a voice shout and still somehow growl.  
  
Her eyes opened but she didn't move.  
  
"I said... "it growled lower. "Get Up!" He barked, as a few more glass instruments crashed to the floor behind him, and sparks from an electrical wire that had become exposed lit the air. The earthquake intensified, as if showing it could do just fine without its creator. Like it had something to prove.  
  
Callie sucked air into her lungs.  
  
Logan hauled her to her feet.  
  
He glared at her.  
  
She stared back.  
  
"Do it..." she whispered... backing up as far as she could to the wall... away from Logan... away from the exit... away from her life.  
  
"Go ahead and do it." She said with more force.  
  
She saw his eyes hold pity for her. He felt sorry for her.  
  
HE felt sorry for HER?  
  
Callie screamed with blood and tears eating her throat. She held up her hands to get him away. Her epiphany dissolving as she saw herself for what she was... and running from it...  
  
An energy blast ripped out of her and hit Logan square on the chest. He flinched.  
  
"DO IT!" She screamed... sobbing. "Please..." she whispered as he moved closer to her. He moved to reach her.  
  
She screamed again, less forcefully.  
  
"Monster!" She yelled and hit him across the face. He didn't react.

"You're nothing!" She sobbed, hitting him again. Feverishly she hit him and almost fell to her knees. He caught her and she cried into him.  
  
"Monster." She whispered to herself. "I'm nothing."

* * *

Callie held her breath again and found herself deaf to the sound of imploding air and a blue hand wrapping around her waist... only when the floor was wet and solid with grass and morning dew did her brain register the sound of crickets chirping obliviously and the first slips of sunlight bursting forth from over the horizon in pink and orange.  
  
She was outside.  
  
Callie looked back at the chaos and destruction she had caused.  
  
The damage she had wrought on a beautiful mansion in Manchester. A place where children learned.  
  
Callie's eyes, a beautiful bright blue, stained red through saline tears, closed shut as she collapsed to the ground. 


	19. Reunion

Thank you to Jubes and SxHxC and DarkAngel and everyone else who gave me the wonderful reviews... only two chapters to go! Hope you enjoy!

Miko

Chapter 19 Reunion  
  
The butterflies in her stomach still rumbled around of her as she followed her host through the polished halls of an old enchanting building.  
  
He had called it a school, but despite her unease, it felt more like a home.  
  
Lived in.  
  
As if confirming her accusations, a small circular crack in the marble floor rippled out from its center. It seemed familiar.  
  
As the headmaster rolled ahead to talk with her husband, Mrs. Montique stopped to examine the cracks closer.  
  
"Mrs. Montique? Laura? I've been informed that your daughter is just ahead in the dorm area."  
  
"Informed?" She breathed, stepping closer to Professor Xavier, her high heels clacking on the marble floor and reverberating throughout an otherwise silent hallway. "Through telepathy?" She asked him.  
  
He smiled broadly at her. "No, I'm afraid, it's just through our intercom system."  
  
He beckoned them forward, and Mrs. Montique laughed despite herself.  
  
As they continued down the hallway, the lovely ethereal atmosphere of the house evaporated leaving behind flickering lights and part of the floor caving into the level below. It looked like they had a very expansive basement. Like it was a whole other floor...  
  
"Are you redecorating?" She asked, latching onto her husband's arm.  
  
"We are now..." She could have sworn she'd heard him say, but he smiled again, and only nodded.  
  
A few seconds later she heard some familiar footfalls.  
  
Leila Montique came running, a huge smile plastered on her face. It was something Laura had never thought she'd see again.  
  
"Oh my baby!" She gasped as tears escaped her eyes. "My beautiful girl." She smiled, all worries forgotten, down on both knees, her arms wrapped soundly around her precious angel.  
  
"Mommy!" Leila exclaimed as her mother scooped her up and held tight. "You wouldn't believe the time I've had. This morning when I woke up Jean did my hair and Bobby made me waffles, but he burned them so Kurt had to do it over again and then Logan played the crossword puzzle from the newspaper with me because I told him that me and Daddy did that and OH! My ears have _moggrifiers_ or something now and I'm better with hearing things and smarter too about using my powers and the floor below us was—"  
  
"Whoa Lei, slow down!" her father laughed, as her mother released her grip to let him have her. Leila now sat on his left shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as her mother rested her head on his right shoulder and closed her eyes.  
  
"Sorry Daddy." Leila breathed. "I missed you."  
  
"I missed you too baby girl." Vargas Montique smiled. Then to the Professor he added. "How can I ever thank you?"  
  
Xavier only shook his head. "It's what we do."  
  
Mr. Montique extended his hand and shook the Professor's. "Do you think..." Montique continued. "That Leila could enroll here?"  
  
"Of course." The Professor agreed.  
  
Leila squealed with glee.  
  
"Oh Daddy, that's wonderful, there are so many nice people here... oh! And people who are learning to be nice."  
  
Vargas did a double take. "What does that mean honey?"  
  
"Well..." Leila started, her parents both staring at her. "You know how when you have a really bad dream and it seems so real you think it is, but then suddenly something finally wakes you up and you realize what you were doing in the dream was bad and so you stop and try not to do it again and be better?"  
  
Vargas blinked, processing that.  
  
"You had a bad dream last night?"  
  
Leila laughed... then she thought about it... "Oh well yes I did... but that's not what I'm talking about."  
  
"Well then... who woke up?"  
  
"Oh, her name is... **Bobby**!" Leila squealed, having spotted him.  
  
Her father blinked again and let his daughter down so she could introduce Iceman.  
  
Professor Xavier sighted Jean behind Bobby and went to join her. Away from the Montique's they talked.  
  
"You had a busy night I take it?"  
  
Jean smiled in the way that only Jean could. "It was eventful." She admitted.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes actually. I'll be just fine. But..." she continued. "That is the LAST time we let Bobby Drake explain to a seven year old girl the psychological breakthrough of an emotionally despondent mutant."  
  
"Is that what happened? I was wondering what the dream metaphor was all about."  
  
Jean smiled again. "Well... at least Leila understood it." Xavier nodded.  
  
"Callie is it?" he asked of her. Jean nodded. "Where is she now?" Xavier added.  
  
"On the other side of the school, trying to sort things out, repair a great deal of damage, go through a lot of emotions... all her own."  
  
Xavier nodded at the meaning behind those words. "We have a lot to talk about. Then I think I should see her."  
  
"Of course Professor." Jean agreed, moving past him to introduce herself to Leila's parents, and heard the backend of their conversation with Bobby.  
  
"Yeah, a lot of mutants don't have any distinguishing features, like myself and your daughter." Bobby was saying.  
  
"And then there are a lot of others like... Mr. Wagner?" Leila's mother asked.  
  
"Right." Bobby conceded.  
  
"We should apologize again for the way we acted before in front of Mr. Wagner." Mr. Montique went to pick his daughter up again. "He has shown us nothing but respect and understanding and compassion, and nothing short of **heroism** concerning our daughter from what we've been told." Leila smiled at what her Daddy said, and so did everyone else.  
  
"Yes and EVERYONE's so nice here Daddy, Jean and Bobby and Scott... well Scott... but umm OH you should meet Dr. Hank!" Leila squeaked.  
  
"Dr. Hank?" her mother asked her.  
  
"Heh, hey, does he have any distinguishing features?" Mr. Montique asked as a joke.  
  
Jean looked at the Professor, and only Bobby laughed.

* * *

"Hey Elf, your ears burnin'?" Logan asked from his seat next to Kurt in the kitchen. "Why? Is someone talking about me?" Kurt asked back, from his perched position, next to Logan's laid back one.  
  
Logan grinned, obviously being able to hear something that Nightcrawler could not.  
  
"All good things I hope." Kurt said taking a sip of coffee.  
  
"Well, they're true anyway." Logan admitted.  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes and put down his cup.  
  
"I don't know why I'm drinking this, I'm _**just** _gonna go and take a nap. Hmm..." he thought. "That is a good idea." He pushed the coffee away and rose.  
  
"See you later?" He asked Logan.  
  
"I'll be here." Logan answered back.  
  
Kurt nodded and turned to leave the room... but then stopped.  
  
"I meant everything I said, you know that right? Nothing's changed." Kurt faced his friend. "Everything you once were has allowed for everything you will be. You had to get through all of the trials you have faced to be the man that you are now. The man who is the best he is at what he does." Kurt paused to choose his words. "Do you know what it is you do Logan?"  
  
Logan looked up.  
  
"You give people hope."  
  
...  
  
"Thank you Kurt."  
  
"You're Welcome mein freund."  
  
Kurt continued his way out the door and left Logan to think.  
  
After a while, Logan paused to stand up, and, quickly deciding, left the room as well to follow a, by now, familiar scent.

* * *


	20. On Your Own

Chapter Twenty 

On Your Own

Logan padded across the floor without sound. Kurt's words still rung inside his head and he smiled inwardly. To so many people Logan was a simple creature. One that thought only of the way that would cause himself the least pain, uncaring of the consequences to others. But to the people who really knew him, or perhaps just to Logan himself, there were unseen forces which worked against Logan. The primal instinctual drive that Logan fought so hard to overcome. There wasn't much room for thoughts on other things.

It wasn't the animal inside of Logan that caused him pain, the fear to get close to others, the man that was Logan, the memories, the conscience, that was what hurt. It hurt so horribly sometimes that it drove him to the nearest bar.

Friends…

Oh yeah, Logan had those too. He usually dragged Kurt along to the bar these days. He seemed to have more "friends" then happy memories, though he wasn't quite sure how that had happened. But, if it weren't for them, this whole humanity thing, with its confines, and its feelings and its pain… it wouldn't have seemed so desirable. He might have given up on it a long time ago.

So… Logan could understand the pain that Callie must have felt. The want to loose herself in the rage and to pull away from humanity that only seemed so cold.

She had no friends…

That should change.

* * *

He found her in the arboretum. She was seated on a cement rail. Her bear feet covered in dirt from the life around her. Her toes touching, her heals up. Her head in her hands. 

He looked down at her. On the surface she looked calm, but Logan knew better.

Her heart was pounding.

He sat down near her on the same cement rail. His feet barely touched the ground. She was taller then he was, but he looked at her, and she seemed so small.

"Chin up little one." He stated with no comfort behind his words.

Her breathing paused. She had known that he was there, but she still jumped at the sound of his voice. He had actually acknowledged her. She had been sitting there wishing herself and the pain she felt away. Hours and hours of thinking herself invisible, she had almost thought she had made it. But Logan had seen her. She wasn't going away…

And neither was the pain…

"I'm not used to this…" she started. "Feeling what I don't want to feel." She lifted her head from her hands and looked straight ahead, focusing on a spot on the wall. An innocent little spot that wouldn't hold any judgment over her. Logan said nothing.

"I'm… I was a horrible person who did horrible things. I want to say that I didn't want to do them, or that given the chance I would've changed…" Callie griped her knees, her toes digging into the earth. "But I can't… I enjoyed everything… or I didn't feel anything at all." The spot on the wall started to blur as Callie's eyes shrink-wrapped with tears. "That was life…" She whispered. "It was all a game. Wasn't it?"

Tears dripped down to her knees. Callie wiped her face like she was annoyed at the sensation.

"And now this pain… it won't go away. I can't live my life the way I was… that'll make the feeling worse won't it? What will make it go away?" The tears kept flowing. Callie started rubbing the water off her legs.

"It has to go away. It has to. Tell me I can stop it or I should have just died. You should have let me die right? But that wouldn't have been fair to the others. All their pain, their memories, things I made them relive, made them see again and again, just so I could be selfish and play games. I can see all their memories in my head. Play it over and over and over again." Callie started scratching at he legs. She was talking to herself.

"If you eat the pain it does away, it dies like the bunny. If you ignore the pain it dies like the garden, like the earth itself." Blood from her thigh spilled to the floor. Callie kept scratching.

"Pain is something you use, use it up, it goes away…" She looked down at her legs and the damage she was causing them. "Go away!" She yelled at the pain. Strong arms grasped both of Callie's and held them up. Callie abruptly looked up. Logan's eyes looked so old.

"Pain can't be ignored." He said softly and slowly. "It can be bottled up until one day it explodes, hurting all of the people you've come to care about."

Black curls floated in front of Callie's eyes.

"Pain can't be eaten, it'll just show up in other parts of your life. Pain can transform, you ignore it, it turns into anger. Anger just flames the fire." Callie's arms relaxed. She focused on Logan's eyes. They had the same eyes. Callie had never met anyone with her eyes.

"Pain doesn't just go away. Talk about it. Rise above it. Don't do things that make you feel sick inside, even if everyone else is against you."

Callie lowered her head and peered through her bangs at Logan. "What do I do now?" she asked quietly.

Logan's face tensed. "Figure that out for yourself."

Callie wore an expression of surprise, then hurt.

"You said you can't live your life the way you had been. Then don't, move on." Logan broke eye contact with Callie.

"What…" Callie teased. "Be an X-Man? Stay here and get a crazy nickname?" She gave Logan a small smile.

"Figure it out on your own." Logan leaned back on his heals.

Callie looked at her hands, they were still bloody. Callie looked down at her legs, they still hurt. "I'm not very good when left to my own devices…" She half smiled again.

"How would you know? You've never been given a chance." Logan's face was half in shadow. The morning sunrise was taking care of that though. Callie sought the comfort of his eyes once more. They were closed.

Callie looked down and folded her hands together. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as well.

"Before… in the lab. I wanted the world to stop. I wanted to just lay down and… and die. But you saved me. So much could've happened to you… and after all that I had already done… I want… I want to be like you." Callie squeezed her eyes tighter together. "I want to save people…"

"The feelings you get from that memory, from any memory where you're saving someone… THAT feeling… it's amazing… I don't' know what to call it… but I want to feel it on my own!" Callie started to smile a real beautiful smile, the first one she'd ever made. "My only feelings so far have been sadness and fear and doubt… but this emotion, I don't want to get it from someone else… I don't' want to steal it… I want to create it myself! But… I…" Callie cringed.

"Hm?" Logan let her know he was there for her, listening.

"If I used my powers again… if it was needed were I to stay here. Help here… I might… I might loose myself again! Be selfish and only want to feel good. I light loose what I gained last night and I couldn't do that ever again. I would rather die then loose control of my powers again. I won't hurt another person like I did… her." Callie sobbed a breath in. Her breath was getting rapid and shallow. Her pulse was still pounding.

Logan brushed the black from her eyes.

"Tell me if you want… I'm right here."

Callie opened her eyes. Her breath calmed.

"Mm-my powers… I c-can look into memories, strong ones that p-people carry with them. The ones that they keep al-alive in their minds because of the profound effect they had on that person. It only works for strong memories… or r-recent ones. I usually go for strong memories, ya know? The ones that were the worst for people… Chic… uh Leila, she… her strongest fear… when I had looked before, back at her house, in the mansion… I had seen a memory from the protestors outside… she had her father to protect her but she was still afraid. It was enough to pacify her then… but in the lab… when I looked in her… I had expected to get the same memory ya know? The same worst fear… but, ah-I… I didn't! I got something completely different… she was a hundred times more afraid of this one… she saw a monster… one that from now on in her nightmares she'll see it… she'll see me! I am that little girl's biggest fear! I'm the monster… I put a gun to her head and I…" Callie's tears were a steady stream. "I want…" She closed her eyes again. "I want to be like you… but I need help. I need help." Callie opened her eyes and wore an expression of realization.

Logan took a deep breath. "As long as its what YOU want Callie. And as long as you realize that the feelings I get from what I do may be different from the ones you feel… even if we do the same thing. That's just life."

Callie nodded. "I want to try…"

Logan smiled.

"So…" Callie shyly smiled back. "I should get to work on a crazy nickname then?"

Logan laughed. "Uh, maybe you should leave some time for that I think…"

"Oh…" Callie looked down.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead… tell me."

Callie smiled. "Well… Call me Emo."

"Emo?" Logan chuckled. "Sure thing darlin'."

Emo lowered her head. The morning birds had stopped chirping. The whole world was silent. "Logan… Can I… can I ask for your help on one more thing?"

"Hm?"

"Will you help me say… will you help me make it up to the people here… for the way I acted?"

Logan rocked back further on his heels and stood up. "Yeah well…" he held out his hand for Emo to grasp. "We'll work on that for the both of us won't we?"

Emo looked at Logan's outstretched hand. She smiled.

"Yeah." She took Logan's hand and stood up to face the rest of her life.

* * *


	21. The End

Chapter 21 

House of Hard Knocks

In a house with yellow walls and blood red window panes a man bent over a counter top chuckled to himself. Blood and spit fall to the counter as he feels in his mouth where a tooth used to be.

Callie had left him.

She had left him like this.

On a stupid random whim that erratic selfish bitch had left him to die.

Oh well… she'd always been expendable… and unstable.

But she'd come into his home and hurt him…

She'd slipped through his grasp and control. For that she'd pay dearly.

He couldn't control her anymore…

"Oh well…" he thought again as he clumsily punched in the keys to call for an ambulance for himself.

"I'll just invent a new way."

He smiled through bloody broken teeth.

* * *

THE END 


End file.
